The Transfer rumours have started here post !

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ToneLoc
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Re: The Transfer rumours have started here post !

Post by ToneLoc » Mon Apr 15, 2019 5:57 pm

palerider wrote:
Mon Apr 15, 2019 8:00 am
Ex-Hammer Scott Minto has claimed that Real Madrid are speaking to Declan Rice's family about a summer move.

Minto refused to reveal the source of the rumour but said it was 'reliable'.
Rice’s “family” seem to have an awful lot to say about everything that kid does don’t they?
FFS leave it up to them and he’ll be playing for Spain next !!!
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Re: The Transfer rumours have started here post !

Post by Whiskyman » Tue Apr 16, 2019 12:00 am

ToneLoc wrote:
Mon Apr 15, 2019 5:57 pm
palerider wrote:
Mon Apr 15, 2019 8:00 am
Ex-Hammer Scott Minto has claimed that Real Madrid are speaking to Declan Rice's family about a summer move.

Minto refused to reveal the source of the rumour but said it was 'reliable'.
Rice’s “family” seem to have an awful lot to say about everything that kid does don’t they?
FFS leave it up to them and he’ll be playing for Spain next !!!
He's still only 20. If I'd been good enough at that age to attract the attention of Real Madrid I'd have welcomed the advice of my parents about any possible move. Imo Barcelona would be a better destination for him at this time though.
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Re: The Transfer rumours have started here post !

Post by andyginbrasil » Tue Apr 16, 2019 12:56 am

Whiskyman wrote:
Tue Apr 16, 2019 12:00 am
ToneLoc wrote:
Mon Apr 15, 2019 5:57 pm

Rice’s “family” seem to have an awful lot to say about everything that kid does don’t they?
FFS leave it up to them and he’ll be playing for Spain next !!!
He's still only 20. If I'd been good enough at that age to attract the attention of Real Madrid I'd have welcomed the advice of my parents about any possible move. Imo Barcelona would be a better destination for him at this time though.
Whooooooose
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Re: The Transfer rumours have started here post !

Post by Brookbonds73 » Tue Apr 16, 2019 2:06 am

Rumour has it we're about to put in a bid for Nepalese international Basmati plingplongplop.
The 4ft 8inch centre forward is said to have been on West Ham's radar since 2007 and is said to be very keen on a move to the premier league. Bassy as he likes to be referred to has been a prolific goal scorer with over 400 goals for his village team the mighty cocks. He holds the record of scoring 17 in one match against local rivals FC chunder, before a landslide called a halt to proceedings.
Affectionately known by locals as big dicky, the diminutive striker has already held secret talks with a West Ham representative over a possible move. The fee, thought to be a 1977 Rover, a Betamax video recorder and a years supply of heamoroid cream is said to be within West Ham's transfer budget and a deal could be struck in time for the opening match of the 2019/20 season.
Speaking from his dolls house on Diddy island, the West Ham owner was said to be trying his hardest to push the deal through and described Bassy as just the type of player we need to break through the top 15 in the premier league.
Here's hoping!
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Re: The Transfer rumours have started here post !

Post by palerider » Tue Apr 16, 2019 7:07 am

Brookbonds73 wrote:
Tue Apr 16, 2019 2:06 am
Rumour has it we're about to put in a bid for Nepalese international Basmati plingplongplop.
The 4ft 8inch centre forward is said to have been on West Ham's radar since 2007 and is said to be very keen on a move to the premier league. Bassy as he likes to be referred to has been a prolific goal scorer with over 400 goals for his village team the mighty cocks. He holds the record of scoring 17 in one match against local rivals FC chunder, before a landslide called a halt to proceedings.
Affectionately known by locals as big dicky, the diminutive striker has already held secret talks with a West Ham representative over a possible move. The fee, thought to be a 1977 Rover, a Betamax video recorder and a years supply of heamoroid cream is said to be within West Ham's transfer budget and a deal could be struck in time for the opening match of the 2019/20 season.
Speaking from his dolls house on Diddy island, the West Ham owner was said to be trying his hardest to push the deal through and described Bassy as just the type of player we need to break through the top 15 in the premier league.
Here's hoping!
Always said there's value looking elsewhere. Why pay top dollar for some dago chancer when you can pick up better further afield for nothing more than a compartment under the front seat of a Bulgarian furniture lorry, a forged passport and a flat above a Leytonstone nail clinic ?
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Re: The Transfer rumours have started here post !

Post by Whiskyman » Tue Apr 16, 2019 7:54 am

The latest rumour from Theydon Bois Halls has caused some confusion it seems. It appears to be the practice of our beloved owner (and club saviour, lest we forget) to invite chosen members of Her Majesty's gutter press along for a bi weekly meeting over coffee and biscuits. Apparently a West Ham fan group had also been granted an audience with the vertically challenged immediately prior to the press meeting and snippets of conversation were overheard by the waiting tabloid tittle tattlers. One of the fan representatives enquired if West Ham supporters could expect any big name signings during the summer. His greatness responded tersely with a simple Fuck You.

The confusion seems to have arisen because Sean Whetstone, who as usual was present at the press gathering, anxious to head off any potential conflict with fans is expected to reveal to the dozens of followers of his Claret & Hugh blog that the dwarf was not dismissing the fan's question in the time honoured manner but was instead i referring to one FUK YOO, a North Korean footballer, recently released from custody in his native country, where he had languished after missing a vital penalty for Pyongyang Panthers in the North Korean Division 3 play off final at the end of season 2015/16l. The Panthers are the favourite team of Kim Jong-Un who was at the match and immediately ordered his incarceration.

Fuk Yoo is still only 36 and has been keeping himself fit in prison by regularly pacing round his 3 metre square cell and living on a healthy diet of rice and bamboo shoots. Prior to his imprisonment he had an impressive record for Pyongyang, with whom he has spent his entire career, having played 350 matches, scoring an impressive 31 goals from his midfield position.

He is only 1.62 metres tall and following his spell inside currently only weighs just over 45 kgs but Whetstone is expected to assure his dozens of followers they won't ever have seen anything like him in a West Ham shirt before, and to relish the experience.
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Re: The Transfer rumours have started here post !

Post by ToneLoc » Tue Apr 16, 2019 8:30 am

Whiskyman wrote:
Tue Apr 16, 2019 7:54 am
The latest rumour from Theydon Bois Halls has caused some confusion it seems. It appears to be the practice of our beloved owner (and club saviour, lest we forget) to invite chosen members of Her Majesty's gutter press along for a bi weekly meeting over coffee and biscuits. Apparently a West Ham fan group had also been granted an audience with the vertically challenged immediately prior to the press meeting and snippets of conversation were overheard by the waiting tabloid tittle tattlers. One of the fan representatives enquired if West Ham supporters could expect any big name signings during the summer. His greatness responded tersely with a simple Fuck You.

The confusion seems to have arisen because Sean Whetstone, who as usual was present at the press gathering, anxious to head off any potential conflict with fans is expected to reveal to the dozens of followers of his Claret & Hugh blog that the dwarf was not dismissing the fan's question in the time honoured manner but was instead i referring to one FUK YOO, a North Korean footballer, recently released from custody in his native country, where he had languished after missing a vital penalty for Pyongyang Panthers in the North Korean Division 3 play off final at the end of season 2015/16l. The Panthers are the favourite team of Kim Jong-Un who was at the match and immediately ordered his incarceration.

Fuk Yoo is still only 36 and has been keeping himself fit in prison by regularly pacing round his 3 metre square cell and living on a healthy diet of rice and bamboo shoots. Prior to his imprisonment he had an impressive record for Pyongyang, with whom he has spent his entire career, having played 350 matches, scoring an impressive 31 goals from his midfield position.

He is only 1.62 metres tall and following his spell inside currently only weighs just over 45 kgs but Whetstone is expected to assure his dozens of followers they won't ever have seen anything like him in a West Ham shirt before, and to relish the experience.
Theydon Bois Halls... where satire and reality blur into something undistinguishable in between.
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Re: The Transfer rumours have started here post !

Post by Alfiehammer » Tue Apr 16, 2019 9:01 am

Clayton wrote:
Mon Apr 15, 2019 9:25 am
Whiskyman wrote:
Mon Apr 15, 2019 9:19 am


Still only 27 in July. Leverkusen will quite likely miss out on Europe so you never know.
At 27 I would still have him . Just had a look and he valued at £23m .

At 27, players are entering their prime...
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Re: The Transfer rumours have started here post !

Post by Clayton » Tue Apr 16, 2019 9:48 am

Alfiehammer wrote:
Tue Apr 16, 2019 9:01 am
Clayton wrote:
Mon Apr 15, 2019 9:25 am

At 27 I would still have him . Just had a look and he valued at £23m .

At 27, players are entering their prime...
Lucas Perez in 15/16 season scored 19 in 38 games , since then he has scored 22 in 75 .
Hernandez in 15/16 season scored 26 in 41 games , since then has scored 29 in 97.
So I am not sure that your theory that all players are entering their prime at 27 holds any weight Alfie .
Why havnt these 2 improved on reaching their prime as you say , neither have had horrendous injury problems which would have held them back ie ; Carroll - Wilshere .
I would also think prime age would have been nearer the age of 25 years for strikers and maybe 27 for defenders and in between those ages for midfielders ..
Got to be a touch of luck for all players as well , physical and mental attributes , injuries , personal ambition and love for the game must come into it as well just not the fact that we all improve at the age of 27 so are better for it .
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Re: The Transfer rumours have started here post !

Post by Whiskyman » Tue Apr 16, 2019 10:13 am

Clayton wrote:
Tue Apr 16, 2019 9:48 am
Alfiehammer wrote:
Tue Apr 16, 2019 9:01 am



At 27, players are entering their prime...
Lucas Perez in 15/16 season scored 19 in 38 games , since then he has scored 22 in 75 .
Hernandez in 15/16 season scored 26 in 41 games , since then has scored 29 in 97.
So I am not sure that your theory that all players are entering their prime at 27 holds any weight Alfie .
Why havnt these 2 improved on reaching their prime as you say , neither have had horrendous injury problems which would have held them back ie ; Carroll - Wilshere .
I would also think prime age would have been nearer the age of 25 years for strikers and maybe 27 for defenders and in between those ages for midfielders ..
Got to be a touch of luck for all players as well , physical and mental attributes , injuries , personal ambition and love for the game must come into it as well just not the fact that we all improve at the age of 27 so are better for it .
But we shouldn't forget strikers, probably more than any other positions, are only able to really shine if they are getting the ammunition from midfield. And of course strikers don't all play the same way. Hernandez has a proven scoring record at every club he has been to----apart from West Ham. I don't think he has suddenly become ineffective overnight, I think it is more to do with the quality, or lack of, he has had to play with. Also he has often been played as a lone striker, a role he has, to my knowledge, never been asked to carry out at his previous clubs.
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