Andy Carroll

Chat about anything football related here!
User avatar
Ironworksfc
Posts: 1071
Joined: Sun May 29, 2016 1:03 am
x 20
x 85

Re: Andy Carroll

Post by Ironworksfc » Sat May 11, 2019 12:51 pm

Whiskyman wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 10:25 am
Noni wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 10:00 am


In all fairness to Andy Carroll, we loved him in our club, when he showed up and scored loads of goals for us. :) The last 2 seasons have been a disappointment . :(
He was such a massive success in our colours I think a statue should of him should be erected outside the stadium. It would probably cost considerably less than he has over his 6 year contract and, in all probability be more fucking mobile.

His massive goals tally in our colours (33) cost us absolute peanuts. None of us have any idea of his actual wage but if we assume something like £2.75 million p.a and add that to the reported transfer fee we paid each of those goals cost us a mere £1 million each. An absolute bargain. And should he decide to leave London the management of Smolensky's in Canary Wharf will have to reappraise their projected profit forecast for the next financial year. He will be sorely missed in that particular establishment.

There may possibly be more worthy candidates for the remaining un named stand than Mr Carroll. However as a lasting testament to his outstanding contribution to the club during his time with us I would like to suggest an appropriate tribute would be to rename the club medical centre in his honour. I would suggest The Andy Carroll Rehabilitation Suite would be a suitable name as it would serve as a lasting memory to his sterling efforts for the club.

Now fuck off you long streak of piss.
Don't forget about him being unplayable on his day, or don't similar shit like that.

I think his day was everyday because the cunt was always injured and was unplayable
1 x

User avatar
Noni
Posts: 2609
Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2016 10:20 pm
x 413
x 68

Re: Andy Carroll

Post by Noni » Sat May 11, 2019 1:14 pm

Ironworksfc wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 12:51 pm
Whiskyman wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 10:25 am


He was such a massive success in our colours I think a statue should of him should be erected outside the stadium. It would probably cost considerably less than he has over his 6 year contract and, in all probability be more fucking mobile.

His massive goals tally in our colours (33) cost us absolute peanuts. None of us have any idea of his actual wage but if we assume something like £2.75 million p.a and add that to the reported transfer fee we paid each of those goals cost us a mere £1 million each. An absolute bargain. And should he decide to leave London the management of Smolensky's in Canary Wharf will have to reappraise their projected profit forecast for the next financial year. He will be sorely missed in that particular establishment.

There may possibly be more worthy candidates for the remaining un named stand than Mr Carroll. However as a lasting testament to his outstanding contribution to the club during his time with us I would like to suggest an appropriate tribute would be to rename the club medical centre in his honour. I would suggest The Andy Carroll Rehabilitation Suite would be a suitable name as it would serve as a lasting memory to his sterling efforts for the club.

Now fuck off you long streak of piss.
Don't forget about him being unplayable on his day, or don't similar shit like that.

I think his day was everyday because the cunt was always injured and was unplayable
Sorry don't agree!.... Yes he needs to go!!!... Was he useless?, No!!!.... He kept us in the PL ;)
2 x

User avatar
Whiskyman
Posts: 7668
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 2:05 pm
x 121
x 573

Re: Andy Carroll

Post by Whiskyman » Sat May 11, 2019 3:37 pm

BlackDiamond wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 12:17 pm
Whiskyman wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 10:25 am


He was such a massive success in our colours I think a statue should of him should be erected outside the stadium. It would probably cost considerably less than he has over his 6 year contract and, in all probability be more fucking mobile.

His massive goals tally in our colours (33) cost us absolute peanuts. None of us have any idea of his actual wage but if we assume something like £2.75 million p.a and add that to the reported transfer fee we paid each of those goals cost us a mere £1 million each. An absolute bargain. And should he decide to leave London the management of Smolensky's in Canary Wharf will have to reappraise their projected profit forecast for the next financial year. He will be sorely missed in that particular establishment.

There may possibly be more worthy candidates for the remaining un named stand than Mr Carroll. However as a lasting testament to his outstanding contribution to the club during his time with us I would like to suggest an appropriate tribute would be to rename the club medical centre in his honour. I would suggest The Andy Carroll Rehabilitation Suite would be a suitable name as it would serve as a lasting memory to his sterling efforts for the club.

Now fuck off you long streak of piss.
An unwell player called Andy
tried to fix himself with a shandy
imagine his shock,when he injured his cock
in Smolensky's when trying the brandy
A lump of a player called Carroll
Ordered beer not by pints but by barrels
One night the big prick
Drank so much he was sick
All over his brand new apparel

He staggered downstairs to the cabs
On the arm of a hostess called Babs
What a fantastic geezer
He'd forgotten his Visa
Which his mates used to settle the tab,
2 x
TRADITION--Just because we've always done it like this doesn't mean it's not incredibly SILLY

User avatar
terrya1965
Posts: 3959
Joined: Sun May 29, 2016 8:48 pm
x 409
x 272

Re: Andy Carroll

Post by terrya1965 » Sat May 11, 2019 6:49 pm

Whiskyman wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 3:37 pm
BlackDiamond wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 12:17 pm

An unwell player called Andy
tried to fix himself with a shandy
imagine his shock,when he injured his cock
in Smolensky's when trying the brandy
A lump of a player called Carroll
Ordered beer not by pints but by barrels
One night the big prick
Drank so much he was sick
All over his brand new apparel

He staggered downstairs to the cabs
On the arm of a hostess called Babs
What a fantastic geezer
He'd forgotten his Visa
Which his mates used to settle the tab,
Clever..Didn't know you were a poet Whiskyman.
0 x

User avatar
Whiskyman
Posts: 7668
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 2:05 pm
x 121
x 573

Re: Andy Carroll

Post by Whiskyman » Sat May 11, 2019 7:22 pm

terrya1965 wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 6:49 pm
Whiskyman wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 3:37 pm


A lump of a player called Carroll
Ordered beer not by pints but by barrels
One night the big prick
Drank so much he was sick
All over his brand new apparel

He staggered downstairs to the cabs
On the arm of a hostess called Babs
What a fantastic geezer
He'd forgotten his Visa
Which his mates used to settle the tab,
Clever..Didn't know you were a poet Whiskyman.
BD's post inspired me Terry. Haven't done anything like that since I was at school. And that was a very long time ago indeed.
0 x
TRADITION--Just because we've always done it like this doesn't mean it's not incredibly SILLY

User avatar
Ironworksfc
Posts: 1071
Joined: Sun May 29, 2016 1:03 am
x 20
x 85

Re: Andy Carroll

Post by Ironworksfc » Sat May 11, 2019 10:09 pm

Noni wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 1:14 pm
Ironworksfc wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 12:51 pm


Don't forget about him being unplayable on his day, or don't similar shit like that.

I think his day was everyday because the cunt was always injured and was unplayable
Sorry don't agree!.... Yes he needs to go!!!... Was he useless?, No!!!.... He kept us in the PL ;)
Really
0 x

User avatar
eastcoastclaret
Posts: 1251
Joined: Sun May 29, 2016 2:54 pm
Location: Chris Eubank has written a book about ethics. If it sells well, he'll write one about Kent too
x 173
x 29

Re: Andy Carroll

Post by eastcoastclaret » Sun May 12, 2019 11:02 am

So, his contract is finally done, well almost. Our unplayable player on his day turned out to be well, just unplayable most of the time. I will miss him leaping like a salmon though! :lol:
The question is what club is actually going to have him? Given that he has recently bought Rod Stewart’s old gaff I would suggest he ain’t going too far away. I think a championship club could make use of him as I doubt any premier club would risk his injury problems. Someone on here punted up Fulham which I think is a good shout but who else would be in the frame to have him.
0 x
gonna need a bigger boat...my thumbs have gone weird...weleese bwian...I didn't eat the salmon mousse...nice beaver...like a glove...I have nipples Greg...the details of my life...he's not the messiah....

User avatar
OZHAMMER
Posts: 1288
Joined: Mon May 30, 2016 7:41 am
Location: OBERON
x 139
x 97

Re: Andy Carroll

Post by OZHAMMER » Sun May 12, 2019 11:47 am

Ironworksfc wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 12:51 pm
Whiskyman wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 10:25 am


He was such a massive success in our colours I think a statue should of him should be erected outside the stadium. It would probably cost considerably less than he has over his 6 year contract and, in all probability be more fucking mobile.

His massive goals tally in our colours (33) cost us absolute peanuts. None of us have any idea of his actual wage but if we assume something like £2.75 million p.a and add that to the reported transfer fee we paid each of those goals cost us a mere £1 million each. An absolute bargain. And should he decide to leave London the management of Smolensky's in Canary Wharf will have to reappraise their projected profit forecast for the next financial year. He will be sorely missed in that particular establishment.

There may possibly be more worthy candidates for the remaining un named stand than Mr Carroll. However as a lasting testament to his outstanding contribution to the club during his time with us I would like to suggest an appropriate tribute would be to rename the club medical centre in his honour. I would suggest The Andy Carroll Rehabilitation Suite would be a suitable name as it would serve as a lasting memory to his sterling efforts for the club.

Now fuck off you long streak of piss.
Don't forget about him being unplayable on his day, or don't similar shit like that.

I think his day was everyday because the cunt was always injured and was unplayable
He’s been taking the piss since day one.

Sullivan must really loathe Allardyce. He’s cost him about £50mil all up with this lemon.
0 x

User avatar
Neville Bartos
Posts: 3944
Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2016 2:29 am
Location: Flyyyyyyyyyin'
x 383
x 508

Re: Andy Carroll

Post by Neville Bartos » Sun May 12, 2019 11:53 am

Noni wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 1:14 pm
Ironworksfc wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 12:51 pm


Don't forget about him being unplayable on his day, or don't similar shit like that.

I think his day was everyday because the cunt was always injured and was unplayable
Sorry don't agree!.... Yes he needs to go!!!... Was he useless?, No!!!.... He kept us in the PL ;)

Trouble with that argument is that we might not of needed 'keeping up' if he hadn't missed so many games to start with.
1 x
Communism deprives no man of the power to appropriate the products of society; all that it does is to deprive him of the power to subjugate the labour of others by means of such appropriations.

User avatar
IronsForever
Posts: 5732
Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2016 5:22 am
x 286
x 352

Re: Andy Carroll

Post by IronsForever » Sun May 12, 2019 1:26 pm

Neville Bartos wrote:
Sun May 12, 2019 11:53 am
Noni wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 1:14 pm


Sorry don't agree!.... Yes he needs to go!!!... Was he useless?, No!!!.... He kept us in the PL ;)

Trouble with that argument is that we might not of needed 'keeping up' if he hadn't missed so many games to start with.
Made me laugh when he suffered whiplash and was out for 2 weeks as result of celebrating his goal when he belly slid along the turf.
When 100% he is a nightmare for any defender to handle. Thats a given lol. His body has been slowly breaking and his career is over. Mistake we made was giving him such a lengthy contract.
0 x
Come On You Irons!!!!!!!!!!

Post Reply

Social Media