West Ham v Swansea - Official Match Thread

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Taansend
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West Ham v Swansea - Official Match Thread

Postby Taansend » Wed Dec 21, 2016 6:09 pm

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On my first contract on the cruise ships I had a roommate from Mumbles which is a suburb of Swansea.

Once we had a threesome with a big bird from Texas. When I say big, I don't mean fat. She was just big. Maybe 5'11" & with a large frame but not fat. She was pretty hot if you're into the all American blonde girl. The threesome wasn't planned. She'd come back to our cabin after the crew bar because we had a load of coke & ended up getting spit-roasted by two blokes half her size.

Anyway, prior to that incident she asked me if I knew a Terry from Birmingham, England. I told her no & that there were about 20 million people between South London & Birmingham. "I know" she replied "But Terry is black" :i am genuinely amused:

They say that Swansea got its name from Sveinn's island (Old Norse: Sveinsey). It's the 25th largest city in the UK. It has an annual high of 13.5 Celsius. 13% of Swanseas 250,000 people were born in England. Coincidentally, 13.4% of its population speak Welsh.

Harry Secombe was from Swansea. As is Catherine Zeta Jones. And Enzo Maccarinelli.

We've played them 59 times, winning 26 & drawing 15. Last time we played them we lost 4-1 and our goal was an own goal. A bloke named Ayew played a blinder that day. We should sign him up :D

In 1983 we beat them 5-1 at their ground. Dickens & Pike got a brace each while Devonshire finished them off. In America Devonshire is pronounced Devonshire. We've also beaten them 5-1 on another occasion as well as a 6-2 once. In the Premier League era our record is 3 wins, 3 draws & 2 losses with 8 goals scored & 9 let in.

Swansea were playing some lovely football a couple of years ago. They have a great set of passionate supporters & things were looking up. But it's gone seriously tits up for them in 2016. As I said on another thread, someone has scored 3 or more goals in 8 of the last 10 games they've played. And surprisingly, their goal difference isn't much worse than ours (-17).

They are in serious trouble though. Even if they beat us they'll still be in the bottom three. They've let in 37 goals, the most in the league, including 15 in their last five games & that includes a clean sheet against Sunderland :shock: Since Bradley took over they've let in 2.5 goals per game as opposed to 1.7 goals per game before him. We score an average of 1.1 goals per game - usually from a dodgy penalty :i am genuinely amused:

Sigurdsson is their dangerman & is joint top scorer with 6 goals. Keep him quiet & the game becomes a lot easier. Leroy Fer also has 6 goals meaning that between them they have 60% of Swanseas goals.

A win on Boxing Day could see us move to the heady heights of tenth, if Watford (home to Palace), Bournemouth & Stoke (away to Chelsea & Liverpool) all lose. Follow that up with a win at Leicester & we could be as high as 7th :o Crazy but that's the Premier League. Of course, lose the next two & we could be down in the relegation battle again.

Our players looked a little knackered against Hull so the 8 days off should do us some good. Many are clamouring for Martinez to get a place on the bench. It seems like we have a lot of decent youth coming through with Quina, Burke, Martinez & Samuelsen not to mention Fletcher & Fernandes both being young & decent. Obiang is out so it will be interesting to see what Bilic does. Stay with his 3-4-3 ish formation or switch things up? Who comes in? Fernandes looks like he could fill the gap

Randy
Kouyate Reid Ogbog
Antonio Noble Fernandes Cresswell
Lanzini Carroll Payet

What with their leaky defence & our lack of goals we could see something give. Personally I think we'll keep our 3rd clean sheet in a row in a 0-0 draw.
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Re: West Ham v Swansea - Official Match Thread

Postby tassiehammer » Wed Dec 21, 2016 6:58 pm

That's a different way to start a match thread if you don't mind me saying.

"Oi Mumbles, do you know we've flogged you twice 5-1? Oh, and pass me another condom please"

2-1 to us. Nice 3 points away from home.
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Re: West Ham v Swansea - Official Match Thread

Postby Taansend » Wed Dec 21, 2016 7:14 pm

tassiehammer wrote:That's a different way to start a match thread if you don't mind me saying.

"Oi Mumbles, do you know we've flogged you twice 5-1? Oh, and pass me another condom please"


:i am genuinely amused:
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Re: West Ham v Swansea - Official Match Thread

Postby BlackDiamond » Wed Dec 21, 2016 7:42 pm

We might be playing the Swans away if anybody is remotely interested
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Re: West Ham v Swansea - Official Match Thread

Postby tassiehammer » Thu Dec 22, 2016 9:10 am

BlackDiamond wrote:We might be playing the Swans away if anybody is remotely interested



Yeh, did put it will be a nice 3 points away from home. :)
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Re: West Ham v Swansea - Official Match Thread

Postby JayK » Thu Dec 22, 2016 10:05 pm

I see Merson is predicting a 2-1 home win

And Lawro predicting a 0-2 West Ham win

Personally I think that Josh geezer (never heard of him and his band) is right with a 0-0
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Re: West Ham v Swansea - Official Match Thread

Postby IronsForever » Fri Dec 23, 2016 8:01 am

Winning back possession in midfield is going to be a key factor for both sides. I would love to see the stats for us on that this year and compare them to this stage last year.
For that reason i would like to see Kouyate back up in Midfield ( not going to happen) with Obiang and Fernandes ( In for Noble ) We are relying too much on Noble and Obiang to win the ball back and they are sitting deep its not happening! Here is my line up ( Not going to happen). With that line up , would have to slot our top scorer right back.


.......................Randy...................................

Antonio.........Reid.............Oggy................Cress

....Fernandes......Kouyate......Obiang..............

................Lanzini..............Payet.............

....................Carroll........................

I would let Lanzini and Payet have free rolls running off Carroll from open play and The Volvo joining up .

If Noble plays we will go sideways or back to Oggy who will panic and pass it to Reid who gives it back to noble who gores sideways hahahah. Playing this 3 in the middle gives them front 3 free rolls. Antonio will be a threat down the right flank and Fernandes can cover when he flys up.
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Re: West Ham v Swansea - Official Match Thread

Postby JayK » Fri Dec 23, 2016 8:34 am

IronsForever wrote:Winning back possession in midfield is going to be a key factor for both sides. I would love to see the stats for us on that this year and compare them to this stage last year.
For that reason i would like to see Kouyate back up in Midfield ( not going to happen) with Obiang and Fernandes ( In for Noble ) We are relying too much on Noble and Obiang to win the ball back and they are sitting deep its not happening! Here is my line up ( Not going to happen). With that line up , would have to slot our top scorer right back.


.......................Randy...................................

Antonio.........Reid.............Oggy................Cress

....Fernandes......Kouyate......Obiang..............

................Lanzini..............Payet.............

....................Carroll........................

I would let Lanzini and Payet have free rolls running off Carroll from open play and The Volvo joining up .

If Noble plays we will go sideways or back to Oggy who will panic and pass it to Reid who gives it back to noble who gores sideways hahahah. Playing this 3 in the middle gives them front 3 free rolls. Antonio will be a threat down the right flank and Fernandes can cover when he flys up.


Sorry but it's criminal to have our biggest goal threat at RB and Obiang is suspended.
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Re: West Ham v Swansea - Official Match Thread

Postby IronsForever » Fri Dec 23, 2016 8:38 am

JayK wrote:
IronsForever wrote:Winning back possession in midfield is going to be a key factor for both sides. I would love to see the stats for us on that this year and compare them to this stage last year.
For that reason i would like to see Kouyate back up in Midfield ( not going to happen) with Obiang and Fernandes ( In for Noble ) We are relying too much on Noble and Obiang to win the ball back and they are sitting deep its not happening! Here is my line up ( Not going to happen). With that line up , would have to slot our top scorer right back.


.......................Randy...................................

Antonio.........Reid.............Oggy................Cress

....Fernandes......Kouyate......Obiang..............

................Lanzini..............Payet.............

....................Carroll........................

I would let Lanzini and Payet have free rolls running off Carroll from open play and The Volvo joining up .

If Noble plays we will go sideways or back to Oggy who will panic and pass it to Reid who gives it back to noble who gores sideways hahahah. Playing this 3 in the middle gives them front 3 free rolls. Antonio will be a threat down the right flank and Fernandes can cover when he flys up.


Sorry but it's criminal to have our biggest goal threat at RB and Obiang is suspended.


HHA well it wont be the first time he has played there i am genuinely amused. If Obiang is out Noble id out back in. Can't see any other choice other than Kouyate in there but away to Swansea id prefer his presence in that center.
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Re: West Ham v Swansea - Official Match Thread

Postby JayK » Fri Dec 23, 2016 8:46 am

IronsForever wrote:
JayK wrote:
IronsForever wrote:Winning back possession in midfield is going to be a key factor for both sides. I would love to see the stats for us on that this year and compare them to this stage last year.
For that reason i would like to see Kouyate back up in Midfield ( not going to happen) with Obiang and Fernandes ( In for Noble ) We are relying too much on Noble and Obiang to win the ball back and they are sitting deep its not happening! Here is my line up ( Not going to happen). With that line up , would have to slot our top scorer right back.


.......................Randy...................................

Antonio.........Reid.............Oggy................Cress

....Fernandes......Kouyate......Obiang..............

................Lanzini..............Payet.............

....................Carroll........................

I would let Lanzini and Payet have free rolls running off Carroll from open play and The Volvo joining up .

If Noble plays we will go sideways or back to Oggy who will panic and pass it to Reid who gives it back to noble who gores sideways hahahah. Playing this 3 in the middle gives them front 3 free rolls. Antonio will be a threat down the right flank and Fernandes can cover when he flys up.


Sorry but it's criminal to have our biggest goal threat at RB and Obiang is suspended.


HHA well it wont be the first time he has played there i am genuinely amused. If Obiang is out Noble id out back in. Can't see any other choice other than Kouyate in there but away to Swansea id prefer his presence in that center.


I like Kouyate a lot and agree he's been fantastic at the back. My concern is he wasn't so fantastic in the middle of the park before he was moved to the back. For him to be in the middle of the park, there would have to be very clear and strict instructions to sit in front of the 2 cb's all the time.
I can't agree with Antonio being in that back 4. Nobody else for that position except nordshite who I obviously would rather see in another country but I'd put him at RB instead of Antonio. Gotta have Antonio further forward at all costs, no matter who we put at the back.
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