Ashes..

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Brookbonds73
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Re: Ashes..

Post by Brookbonds73 » Sun Sep 08, 2019 8:08 pm

palerider wrote:
Sun Sep 08, 2019 7:00 pm
Brookbonds73 wrote:
Sun Sep 08, 2019 6:36 pm
Absolute shite, A national disgrace.
But then again that cheating rat faced cunt shouldn't be anywhere near a cricket pitch.
A fellow connoisseur of the great game I see my learned friend. And indeed, the actions of the man sum up Australia perfectly. A bunch of low-lifes descended from the riff-raff we deported. Vagabonds, fraudsters and horse-thieves to a man.

Smith should have been buried up to his head in the Great Victoria Desert so the red ants could teach him a thing or two about sandpaper. But their selectors outrageously go soft on him. It was discussed over brandies at my club last night and should Boris prevail I trust war will be declared and a task force sent up the Murray Darling immediately. I've made my availability known.

Let's not however let our own failings be clouded over. Whoever decided Jason Roy was a test player should be put in stocks outside Lords' for a week so MCC members like myself can hurl rotten vegetables at him, following which he too can get passage on a hulk ship bound for the Indies.

Ruined my weekend.

I'll have to sack a couple of servants to calm down after I've written to the Queen.



Sir Reginald Huntley-Pale.

First Sea Lord (retired).
Indeed sir, indeed.
I have already been in touch with maam and can confirm that a contract has already been set in place for the said member about Mr Roy.
I like yourself I'm sure will be offering my services as not only opening bat but a devilish spinner if required.
I'm not called the flashing blade for nothing you know and my googlies are a thing to die for. I've no doubt that between us we could rattle up at least 600 before tea and rip through the prisoners before end of play on day one. It should be all over by lunch on day two and we can then get back to a three day debauching session with some fine Kazakh women and some llamas I've recently procured from source in Armenia.

Yours Sincerely.
Sir BB. Air Vice Marshal retired.
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palerider
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Re: Ashes..

Post by palerider » Mon Sep 09, 2019 6:02 am

Brookbonds73 wrote:
Sun Sep 08, 2019 8:08 pm
palerider wrote:
Sun Sep 08, 2019 7:00 pm


A fellow connoisseur of the great game I see my learned friend. And indeed, the actions of the man sum up Australia perfectly. A bunch of low-lifes descended from the riff-raff we deported. Vagabonds, fraudsters and horse-thieves to a man.

Smith should have been buried up to his head in the Great Victoria Desert so the red ants could teach him a thing or two about sandpaper. But their selectors outrageously go soft on him. It was discussed over brandies at my club last night and should Boris prevail I trust war will be declared and a task force sent up the Murray Darling immediately. I've made my availability known.

Let's not however let our own failings be clouded over. Whoever decided Jason Roy was a test player should be put in stocks outside Lords' for a week so MCC members like myself can hurl rotten vegetables at him, following which he too can get passage on a hulk ship bound for the Indies.

Ruined my weekend.

I'll have to sack a couple of servants to calm down after I've written to the Queen.



Sir Reginald Huntley-Pale.

First Sea Lord (retired).
Indeed sir, indeed.
I have already been in touch with maam and can confirm that a contract has already been set in place for the said member about Mr Roy.
I like yourself I'm sure will be offering my services as not only opening bat but a devilish spinner if required.
I'm not called the flashing blade for nothing you know and my googlies are a thing to die for. I've no doubt that between us we could rattle up at least 600 before tea and rip through the prisoners before end of play on day one. It should be all over by lunch on day two and we can then get back to a three day debauching session with some fine Kazakh women and some llamas I've recently procured from source in Armenia.

Yours Sincerely.
Sir BB. Air Vice Marshal retired.
We'd administer a sound thrashing.

Kazakhs you say ?

Let me consult my diary.
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OZHAMMER
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Re: Ashes..

Post by OZHAMMER » Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:08 am

Pick your best XI of the two sides... :(
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palerider
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Re: Ashes..

Post by palerider » Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:15 am

OZHAMMER wrote:
Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:08 am
Pick your best XI of the two sides... :(
Fuck me that's hard.

I'd usually pick Warner but he can't buy a run, so....

Burns
Denly
Labuschagne
Smith
Root
Stokes
Bairstow
Cummins
Archer
Hazlewood
Lyon
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grandad
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Re: Ashes..

Post by grandad » Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:16 am

Stupid fucking game played by posh cunts the world over

stop for rain ( are the cunts made of sugar ? )
stop for bad light ( are the cunts blind )
silly mid off ( what a load of old cunt that is )
sq leg ( well you shouldn't be playing with a sq fucking leg )

o and to play for England you only have to have your hair cut by a English man :oops:


Anyone for real tennis !!!!!!!!
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palerider
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Re: Ashes..

Post by palerider » Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:19 am

grandad wrote:
Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:16 am
Stupid fucking game played by posh cunts the world over

stop for rain ( are the cunts made of sugar ? )
stop for bad light ( are the cunts blind )
silly mid off ( what a load of old cunt that is )
sq leg ( well you shouldn't be playing with a sq fucking leg )

o and to play for England you only have to have your hair cut by a English man :oops:


Anyone for real tennis !!!!!!!!
I played for over 20 years.

I was brought up on a council estate.

You're talking absolute bollocks.
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grandad
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Re: Ashes..

Post by grandad » Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:24 am

palerider wrote:
Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:19 am
grandad wrote:
Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:16 am
Stupid fucking game played by posh cunts the world over

stop for rain ( are the cunts made of sugar ? )
stop for bad light ( are the cunts blind )
silly mid off ( what a load of old cunt that is )
sq leg ( well you shouldn't be playing with a sq fucking leg )

o and to play for England you only have to have your hair cut by a English man :oops:


Anyone for real tennis !!!!!!!!
I played for over 20 years.

I was brought up on a council estate.

You're talking absolute bollocks.

see what a cunt of a game lasted 20 years that match FFS

mate the council estate you was bought up on was probably a very posh one :lol:
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grandad
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Re: Ashes..

Post by grandad » Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:25 am

mind you not many games were a father and son open the batting for a country like they did for India
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Neville Bartos
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Re: Ashes..

Post by Neville Bartos » Mon Sep 09, 2019 12:38 pm

Just reading that the former Pakistani leg spinner Abdul Qadir has died.
When I started watching test cricket in the mid 80s leg spin was pretty much a dead art. If you wanted to see leg spin then Qadir was pretty much it. I think I first saw him in the 1987 series between England and Pakistan, taking a hat full at The Oval.
Apparently he got fired for saying Pakistani fast bowlers often tampered with the ball.
RIP Abdul. Another one of my golden cricketing memories off to the big oval in the sky.
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Re: Ashes..

Post by Neville Bartos » Mon Sep 09, 2019 12:47 pm

Oh and 'England name unchanged squad for final Test'.
It's a dead rubber so let's give the failures a chance to to play well enough so there's an excuse not to drop them. Disgraceful from the coach, captain and selectors. This looks more and more like jobs for the boys.
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