Genuinely not Tommy Cooper.

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Gandalf
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Re: Genuinely not Tommy Cooper.

Post by Gandalf » Fri Sep 13, 2019 9:50 pm

Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. Well there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu.

I think it's Colin.
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eastcoastclaret
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Re: Genuinely not Tommy Cooper.

Post by eastcoastclaret » Sat Sep 14, 2019 2:51 pm

Oranges are actually male or female.

If it squirts in your eye without warning it’s male.

If it’s bitter for absolutely no fucking reason whatsoever, it’s female...
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gonna need a bigger boat...my thumbs have gone weird...weleese bwian...I didn't eat the salmon mousse...nice beaver...like a glove...I have nipples Greg...the details of my life...he's not the messiah....

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whu
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Re: Genuinely not Tommy Cooper.

Post by whu » Thu Sep 19, 2019 12:32 pm

Bloke walks into a bar

He said 'ouch'
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Land based game. Pass and move. Simple.
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Dwayne Pipes
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Re: Genuinely not Tommy Cooper.

Post by Dwayne Pipes » Thu Sep 19, 2019 1:40 pm

Two peas in a pod one says to the other are you married he replies no I’m a batchelor.
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mkhammer
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Re: Genuinely not Tommy Cooper.

Post by mkhammer » Thu Sep 19, 2019 7:40 pm

Horse walks into a bar....Barkeep goes...whats up mate why the long face..
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Mikeveep
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Re: Genuinely not Tommy Cooper.

Post by Mikeveep » Fri Sep 20, 2019 9:43 am

Unlike my original post I can't believe that all of these are true stories :(
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Newmarket
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Re: Genuinely not Tommy Cooper.

Post by Newmarket » Sat Sep 21, 2019 8:40 am

Mikeveep wrote:
Fri Sep 20, 2019 9:43 am
Unlike my original post I can't believe that all of these are true stories :(
Surely Woo’s illeism bears close scrutiny ?

In fact you’ve probably witnessed it ?
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I hate Thrush he’s an irritating Cunt .

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Avit
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Re: Genuinely not Tommy Cooper.

Post by Avit » Fri Sep 27, 2019 1:23 pm

True story
Music shop Basildon

Me... I'd like a guitar lead please.

Dork... How long do you want it?

Me... I want to keep it.......
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tassiehammer
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Re: Genuinely not Tommy Cooper.

Post by tassiehammer » Sun Oct 06, 2019 12:58 am

Why are the Pakis no good at football?
Everytime they get a corner they put a shop on it.

I'l get me coat....
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grandad
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Re: Genuinely not Tommy Cooper.

Post by grandad » Sun Oct 06, 2019 8:42 am

man goes in fish and chip shop ask for a bit of cod

bloke serving says ok mate wont be long


bloke buying says well it wants to be fucking fat then

coat and hat
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