The West Ham Corporate Christmas

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The West Ham Corporate Christmas

Post by teddybard » Fri Dec 15, 2017 7:07 pm

Xmas As the Company Sees It

The Brady on top of the Christmas Tree
has explained Christmas downsizing to me.
Today's global challenge requires the North Pole
to look for better--- or be on the dole. Competitive steps. Effective right now
these savings and cuts, you will all make somehow.
Economic measures are to take place
"In Twelve Days at West Ham" bits we'll replace:

The Partridge, a strange bird, will be retained,
although C&H once more complained.

The Pear Tree never turned out to be good ;
the cash crop forecast was mis-understood.
It will be replaced by a plastic plant,
providing some savings in maintenance.

The Two Turtle Doves, not cost effective.
Their romance, during working hours, was wrong.
The positions, therefore are eliminated.
Tradition; really does not fit this song.
All the three French Hens will remain intact.
As everyone loves the French, that's a fact?

The four calling birds will now be replaced
by an automated, mail, system trace.
With a call waiting option.(and we heard)
Analysis , to determine which birds
have been calling, how often and how long
Can savings be made whether right or wong?

The five golden rings have been put on hold;
The Board of Directors. Well Sullty and Gold
keeping portfolio, not easy I'm told,
based on Terry Fkin Brown: negative thoughts
implications for investors, of sorts.

The six geese-a-laying constitutes lord,
a luxury we can no longer afford.
One egg per goose per day, in it's own way
an example of product decline, say
three geese will be let go, anyway
upgrading in selection will assure
management's golden goose"must lay more,"
or it's "into the pot", despite the uproar.

Seven swans-a-swimming, a number which
chosen in better times, worked with no hitch.
Their function to decorate the border.
Mechanical ducks now are on order.
The current swans will now be retrained
to learn stewards jobs and may be retained;
therefore they may enhance their outplacement,
although, they may also, suffer replacement.

The eight maids-a-milking concept can't work,
balance in the workforce is being sought.
More militant maids consider this job
a dead-end for the Chicken Run mob-.
Automating this process may permit
the maids to try other stuff for a bit.

Nine ladies dancing has always been odd.
this function will be phased out, the poor sods
as these individuals grow older,
and no longer blindly follow the board's orders.

Ten Lords-a-leaping is now overkill.
The high cost of Brady brings excessive bills
plus the current expense of air travel
means the accounts team has to unravel.
Savings are significant, we expect
to cut any overheads we detect.

Eleven pipers piping, have to go;
noise pollution levels dictate this is so.
Twelve drummers drumming simply not nice;
substitute with a club shop device,

Cut backs will uniformly produce savings
will drop the bottom line. That's amazing.
Substantial reduction in assorted
with more to spend it is reported,
and other expenses. Though incomplete,
stretched deliveries: twelve days isn't neat.
If we can drop the whole lot in one day,
service levels will improve by the way.

Deeper cuts may be needed in future.
Replacing Santa with a computer
Twelve Reindeer, too many, that much I know
and Snow White and those bloody Dwarfs have to go.

Regarding the lawsuit ("thirteen lawyers-a-suing"),
action is pending, no way. Nothing doing!
If you think rightly that life is a b*tch.
OK. We will retain "The wicked WITCH."
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IF it's true that we are here to help others,
what are the others doing here??

shakeass “Congratulations.....You’ve been shafted by the Dildo brothers” kickimmuts

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