When I was a kid

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Newmarket
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Re: When I was a kid

Postby Newmarket » Sun Jan 07, 2018 11:35 am

Gandalf wrote:
Newmarket wrote:
Neville Bartos wrote:Using Joey Deacon as an insult.
Wimpy restaurants.
Star Wars figures.
Having a Chinky instead of a Chinese.
Bygones with Dick Joice.
British bulldog.
Climbing trees for conkers.
Half day closing.


I know there are going to be many many times that I’m going to regret asking this .... but wtf is Joey Deacon when he’s at home ? :D


Newmarket is clearly in the wrong age group! :i am genuinely amused:

You cruel cunts I just googled it . If there was a head shaking emoji ....
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I hate Thrush he’s an irritating Cunt .

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Noni
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Re: When I was a kid

Postby Noni » Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:21 pm

Diamondhammer wrote:

Only two TV channels that went off at 11-12 o clock at night and ended with the national anthem.

Brilliant thread Grandad.


and the girl in the test card :D


Image
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palerider
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Re: When I was a kid

Postby palerider » Sun Jan 07, 2018 5:16 pm

Green Shield stamps
Liver and bacon for tea
Black and white tv with just 2 channels
Kicking a tennis ball against the wall to improve my skills
Conkers
Magnetic football game
Even more lepers
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It's not the principle. It's the money.

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frogiron
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Re: When I was a kid

Postby frogiron » Sun Jan 07, 2018 5:49 pm

The Lewin family next door.

They were a cut above the rest of us oiks. The parents did not beat the living crap out of each other on a weekly basis. And they bought a new mustard coloured Austin Maxi every other year. And they went to fucking Crete for their holidays. And the youngest boy - a couple of years my junior - had a Johnny Seven (too expensive for us). And he had every kind of fucking Action Man toy available. My old man never allowed me to have an Action Man ("No son of mine is playing with a fucking doll"). And their garden was immaculate. No dog shit hiding in the undergrowth to get stuck in your plimsolls. And they had a fucking patio. With a table and chairs. And to top it all, when the Tonibell van came, their kids would get huge ice cream sundaes in boat shaped plastic trays, slathered in raspberry and chocolate sauce and nuts, swimming in tinned fruit salad with the grapes and the cherries and the little flat plastic spoon. Then they would eat the fucking lot in front of me and my sister and brother and never even offer a fucking spoonful.

Not that I'm bitter about it you understand.
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Newmarket
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Re: When I was a kid

Postby Newmarket » Sun Jan 07, 2018 6:04 pm

frogiron wrote:The Lewin family next door.

They were a cut above the rest of us oiks. The parents did not beat the living crap out of each other on a weekly basis. And they bought a new mustard coloured Austin Maxi every other year. And they went to fucking Crete for their holidays. And the youngest boy - a couple of years my junior - had a Johnny Seven (too expensive for us). And he had every kind of fucking Action Man toy available. My old man never allowed me to have an Action Man ("No son of mine is playing with a fucking doll"). And their garden was immaculate. No dog shit hiding in the undergrowth to get stuck in your plimsolls. And they had a fucking patio. With a table and chairs. And to top it all, when the Tonibell van came, their kids would get huge ice cream sundaes in boat shaped plastic trays, slathered in raspberry and chocolate sauce and nuts, swimming in tinned fruit salad with the grapes and the cherries and the little flat plastic spoon. Then they would eat the fucking lot in front of me and my sister and brother and never even offer a fucking spoonful.

Not that I'm bitter about it you understand.


What Cunts....
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I hate Thrush he’s an irritating Cunt .

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frogiron
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Re: When I was a kid

Postby frogiron » Sun Jan 07, 2018 6:37 pm

Newmarket wrote:
frogiron wrote:The Lewin family next door.

They were a cut above the rest of us oiks. The parents did not beat the living crap out of each other on a weekly basis. And they bought a new mustard coloured Austin Maxi every other year. And they went to fucking Crete for their holidays. And the youngest boy - a couple of years my junior - had a Johnny Seven (too expensive for us). And he had every kind of fucking Action Man toy available. My old man never allowed me to have an Action Man ("No son of mine is playing with a fucking doll"). And their garden was immaculate. No dog shit hiding in the undergrowth to get stuck in your plimsolls. And they had a fucking patio. With a table and chairs. And to top it all, when the Tonibell van came, their kids would get huge ice cream sundaes in boat shaped plastic trays, slathered in raspberry and chocolate sauce and nuts, swimming in tinned fruit salad with the grapes and the cherries and the little flat plastic spoon. Then they would eat the fucking lot in front of me and my sister and brother and never even offer a fucking spoonful.

Not that I'm bitter about it you understand.


What Cunts....


Really NM. It still stings mate. They had a bowling green flat lawn in their back garden. Pristine it was. Springy and weed free. They used to have one of those old fashioned push lawnmowers to trim the top 3 mm off their perfect turf every Sunday, and it was so fine, their dad wouldn't work up a sweat, even in his weekend attire of beige cardigan and slacks and straw trilby hat.

Our grass was so long and thick I swear Japanese soldiers were still fighting the yanks in there. The top two inches of earth supporting the scrubby grass was actually pure dog shit. There were rose bushes that were actually 80% greenfly, and looked like the aftermath of a nuclear accident.

And my mum buys a fucking Flymo. A poofy orange thing with a plastic blade and an electric motor taken from a revolving bow tie. And whose job was it to cut the grass? Muggins here. I burned the motors out on three Flymos before my my old Mum gave up and allowed me to carry on hacking at the grass with the sharp knife out of the kitchen.

And the Lewins, fresh back from fucking Crete, sat on their fucking patio drinking real Lucozade in their fucking stripy chairs at their fucking formica table eating their fucking ice cream sundaes and admiring their fucking perfect herbaceous borders. I'm glad I used to throw dried dogshit over the fence rather than put it in the bin like my mum told me.

But it's all water under the bridge.

I can look back and smile now.



The cunts.

:x
4 x
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Newmarket
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Re: When I was a kid

Postby Newmarket » Sun Jan 07, 2018 6:59 pm

frogiron wrote:
Newmarket wrote:
frogiron wrote:The Lewin family next door.

They were a cut above the rest of us oiks. The parents did not beat the living crap out of each other on a weekly basis. And they bought a new mustard coloured Austin Maxi every other year. And they went to fucking Crete for their holidays. And the youngest boy - a couple of years my junior - had a Johnny Seven (too expensive for us). And he had every kind of fucking Action Man toy available. My old man never allowed me to have an Action Man ("No son of mine is playing with a fucking doll"). And their garden was immaculate. No dog shit hiding in the undergrowth to get stuck in your plimsolls. And they had a fucking patio. With a table and chairs. And to top it all, when the Tonibell van came, their kids would get huge ice cream sundaes in boat shaped plastic trays, slathered in raspberry and chocolate sauce and nuts, swimming in tinned fruit salad with the grapes and the cherries and the little flat plastic spoon. Then they would eat the fucking lot in front of me and my sister and brother and never even offer a fucking spoonful.

Not that I'm bitter about it you understand.


What Cunts....


Really NM. It still stings mate. They had a bowling green flat lawn in their back garden. Pristine it was. Springy and weed free. They used to have one of those old fashioned push lawnmowers to trim the top 3 mm off their perfect turf every Sunday, and it was so fine, their dad wouldn't work up a sweat, even in his weekend attire of beige cardigan and slacks and straw trilby hat.

Our grass was so long and thick I swear Japanese soldiers were still fighting the yanks in there. The top two inches of earth supporting the scrubby grass was actually pure dog shit. There were rose bushes that were actually 80% greenfly, and looked like the aftermath of a nuclear accident.

And my mum buys a fucking Flymo. A poofy orange thing with a plastic blade and an electric motor taken from a revolving bow tie. And whose job was it to cut the grass? Muggins here. I burned the motors out on three Flymos before my my old Mum gave up and allowed me to carry on hacking at the grass with the sharp knife out of the kitchen.

And the Lewins, fresh back from fucking Crete, sat on their fucking patio drinking real Lucozade in their fucking stripy chairs at their fucking formica table eating their fucking ice cream sundaes and admiring their fucking perfect herbaceous borders. I'm glad I used to throw dried dogshit over the fence rather than put it in the bin like my mum told me.

But it's all water under the bridge.

I can look back and smile now.



The cunts.

:x

Attaboy ;) :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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I hate Thrush he’s an irritating Cunt .

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Noni
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Re: When I was a kid

Postby Noni » Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:08 pm

goodpost:) Great story Frog!... :)

Happy Ending!!!!.... :D :lol:
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grandad
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Re: When I was a kid

Postby grandad » Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:45 pm

Lee Taylor was 9 had a birthday party and I never got a invite ..... Hated the cunt to be honest a proper prick and now retired customs officer I hear.


Anyway his mum ( nice lady and I had many a wank over her in later years I'd like to add lol ) asked my mum could she put Lee cake in our house to keep it away from him

My mum said yes and put it in cupboard ..Anyway I found it and the chocolate solder figures on top were soon to be headless by my gob.

I knew it was wrong and I knew when it all comes out I'd get a massive kicking from my mum. But it has to be done. ............... Posh stuck up cunt lol
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Gandalf
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Re: When I was a kid

Postby Gandalf » Sun Jan 07, 2018 10:19 pm

palerider wrote:Black and white tv with just 2 channels


Yep! Black and white TV - and watching snooker on it. :lol:

And having to turn it on 5 minutes before the program started because it needed to warm up.
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