Joke Thread

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Noni
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Noni » Sun Jan 28, 2018 7:30 pm

goodpost:) Funny!! :i am genuinely amused: :i am genuinely amused: :i am genuinely amused:
0 x

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Marco Boogers Boots
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Location: Muscat, Sultanate of Oman

Re: Joke Thread

Postby Marco Boogers Boots » Mon Jan 29, 2018 8:36 am

I was out for a few beers last weekend.
I was stood at the bar waiting to order a drink when a fat, horrifically ugly woman squeezed my arse and said:
"Are you going to give me your number then?"
I replied:
"Have you got a pen?"
She smiled and said "yes".
"You'd better get back to it then, before the farmer notices you're missing".
6 x

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Hammerite
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Hammerite » Mon Jan 29, 2018 8:49 am

goodpost:)
0 x

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Hammerite
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby Hammerite » Fri Feb 02, 2018 2:30 pm

Just giving this thread a bump with all the misery we have to put up with theses days it is a tonic to have a bit of a skit about something. :)

Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women. Mixing the Clio and the Taurus they have designed the Clitaurus.

It comes in pink, the average male car theif won't be able to find it let alone turn it on even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.

Rumour has it though that it leaks transmission fluid once a month and can be notoriously temperamental and be a real c*nt to start in the morning :D
3 x

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whu
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Re: Joke Thread

Postby whu » Fri Feb 02, 2018 11:58 pm

Man says to his wife: 'Pack your bags, I've won the pools.'
She says: 'What should I pack? Something light, something warm? Where are we going?'
He says: 'We're going nowhere. Just pack your bags and fuck off.'

A Scouser went to a prostitute.
She said, 'Do you want a blow job?'
He said, 'Will it affect me dole money?'
2 x
Tell the truth or get out of our club - NO SURRENDER

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palerider
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Location: Somerset

Re: Joke Thread

Postby palerider » Sat Feb 03, 2018 9:47 am

I saw 5 blokes all wearing Tottenham shirts playing football with a cat.

I was about to call the RSPCA when the cat went 1-0 up.
3 x
It's not the principle. It's the money.

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Hammerite
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Joined: Thu Jan 05, 2017 4:01 pm

Re: Joke Thread

Postby Hammerite » Fri Feb 09, 2018 8:55 am

Bump. :)



Two blokes are walking down the road.

First bloke says to the second bloke “You are a cunt.
You've always been a cunt and you always will be a cunt.
Everything about you makes you a cunt, a complete and utter cunt.
In fact, if you entered a biggest cunt in the world competition you would come 2nd .

Second Bloke: “Why wouldn’t I come 1st?


First bloke: “Because you’re a cunt! :i am genuinely amused:
0 x


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