How wonky is Sébastien Haller

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BlackDiamond
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How wonky is Sébastien Haller

Post by BlackDiamond » Wed Feb 12, 2020 12:49 pm

Charlie gives an assessment of the lads capabilities and trawls immense reservoirs of despair to find the gold seam of hope within...



and it's not just idle musings - David Moyes (who I quite like) is as blind as a blind mouse, wearing a blindfold in a room with no windows...

...and he has ten days to find the light switch...
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Newmarket
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Re: How wonky is Sébastien Haller

Post by Newmarket » Wed Feb 12, 2020 12:51 pm

BlackDiamond wrote:
Wed Feb 12, 2020 12:49 pm
Charlie gives an assessment of the lads capabilities and trawls immense reservoirs of despair to find the gold seam of hope within...



and it's not just idle musings - David Moyes (who I quite like) is as blind as a blind mouse, wearing a blindfold in a room with no windows...

...and he has ten days to find the light switch...
Wonky ? Like a Morrisons bag of spuds ? :lol:
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palerider
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Re: How wonky is Sébastien Haller

Post by palerider » Wed Feb 12, 2020 12:55 pm

Nope.

He's shit.

Arguably the worst signing for that sort of money in PL history.



If we'd bought Ollie McBurnie AND Sander Berge at the start of the season (and still had change from what we paid on this useless lazy cunt), we'd be mid-table and safe.
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Whiskyman
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Re: How wonky is Sébastien Haller

Post by Whiskyman » Wed Feb 12, 2020 1:44 pm

palerider wrote:
Wed Feb 12, 2020 12:55 pm
Nope.

He's shit.

Arguably the worst signing for that sort of money in PL history.



If we'd bought Ollie McBurnie AND Sander Berge at the start of the season (and still had change from what we paid on this useless lazy cunt), we'd be mid-table and safe.
Don't know about that mate, there's plenty of other candidates.

Factor in football inflation. What about Francis Jeffers ? Everton to Arsenal £10 million in 2001.

Not to mention our own, much loved, Andy Carroll. At least we'll get a few thousand quid back for Haller when we ditch him. And hopefully he won't hang around drawing his salary hardly playing for 6 fucking years.
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Re: How wonky is Sébastien Haller

Post by Brookbonds73 » Wed Feb 12, 2020 2:39 pm

I love the way West Ham fans go all Parisian when they talk about him. Alllllllllllllllllllllllleerrrrrrrrrr.
It's fucking Haller ffs.

And he's shit.
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Re: How wonky is Sébastien Haller

Post by palerider » Wed Feb 12, 2020 3:07 pm

There were only three weeks from the twat signing until the end of the window. It was a panic buy because Gomez turned us down and Noble decided the Serb had to go. I'm not saying Arnie should have stayed at all (well a bit), but it's obvious that a forward who does a bit more than yawn and scratch his arse can lead the line better.

As Oliver Holt said though, the way he points at the screen when his name comes up on the Sky team line-ups is very impressive. Well done.

Either Audrey didn't realise he wouldn't fit the system in which case he was grossly negligent or he didn't care as he knew it was his last big pay-day which is obviously worse. Square peg in a round hole.

But what fucking annoys me, however shit the carthorse is, is that he doesn't give a fuck about being shit.

And you're comparing him to 'Wor Andy' Whisk.

In his last season with us the resemblance is spot-on. And I grant you the Geordie invalid has spent more than his fair share on the treatment table.

But on the regretfully few occasions we saw the best of him in the shirt there is no comparison to Haller.

None.
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Re: How wonky is Sébastien Haller

Post by Brookbonds73 » Wed Feb 12, 2020 3:38 pm

palerider wrote:
Wed Feb 12, 2020 3:07 pm
There were only three weeks from the twat signing until the end of the window. It was a panic buy because Gomez turned us down and Noble decided the Serb had to go. I'm not saying Arnie should have stayed at all (well a bit), but it's obvious that a forward who does a bit more than yawn and scratch his arse can lead the line better.

As Oliver Holt said though, the way he points at the screen when his name comes up on the Sky team line-ups is very impressive. Well done.

Either Audrey didn't realise he wouldn't fit the system in which case he was grossly negligent or he didn't care as he knew it was his last big pay-day which is obviously worse. Square peg in a round hole.

But what fucking annoys me, however shit the carthorse is, is that he doesn't give a fuck about being shit.

And you're comparing him to 'Wor Andy' Whisk.

In his last season with us the resemblance is spot-on. And I grant you the Geordie invalid has spent more than his fair share on the treatment table.

But on the regretfully few occasions we saw the best of him in the shirt there is no comparison to Haller.

None.
Agreed.
When wor Andy was fit, back in the 1800's he struck fear in to the hearts of the bravest defenders. Mounds of excrement could be seen as the Geordie terror awaiting a corner would take a run up from East Ham, to connect his dome to the ball and send the ball, himself, and five defenders into the net. All you get from allllllllllllllllllllllerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr is a quick look in a women's compact mirror, a belch of garlic breath and maybe the odd fart, as he arrives in the box five minutes after the balls been crossed.
No way you can compare the Bupa predator, to that cross dressing onion seller.
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Whiskyman
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Re: How wonky is Sébastien Haller

Post by Whiskyman » Wed Feb 12, 2020 4:15 pm

palerider wrote:
Wed Feb 12, 2020 3:07 pm
There were only three weeks from the twat signing until the end of the window. It was a panic buy because Gomez turned us down and Noble decided the Serb had to go. I'm not saying Arnie should have stayed at all (well a bit), but it's obvious that a forward who does a bit more than yawn and scratch his arse can lead the line better.

As Oliver Holt said though, the way he points at the screen when his name comes up on the Sky team line-ups is very impressive. Well done.

Either Audrey didn't realise he wouldn't fit the system in which case he was grossly negligent or he didn't care as he knew it was his last big pay-day which is obviously worse. Square peg in a round hole.

But what fucking annoys me, however shit the carthorse is, is that he doesn't give a fuck about being shit.

And you're comparing him to 'Wor Andy' Whisk.

In his last season with us the resemblance is spot-on. And I grant you the Geordie invalid has spent more than his fair share on the treatment table.

But on the regretfully few occasions we saw the best of him in the shirt there is no comparison to Haller.

None.
We will have to agree to disagree I'm afraid. If I was manager of a team I wouldn't want either Haller or Carroll anywhere near my squad. Imo they are both crap, but different kinds of crap, if you get my drift.

I do remember being moderately impreswed with Haller in his games against Watford and Norwich. I also remember being impressed with Carroll when he scored a hat trick against Arsenal and, very briefly, although if memory serves he did fuck all else in the game, when he scored THAT goal against Palace.

But I've only had two thirds of a season to scratch my head and ask what the fuck anyone saw in Haller to justify the fee. I had six seasons of watching that useless Geordie waster and asking myself the same question.
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Dwayne Pipes
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Re: How wonky is Sébastien Haller

Post by Dwayne Pipes » Wed Feb 12, 2020 4:34 pm

Runs about like a fucking old woman.
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brookingslovechild
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Re: How wonky is Sébastien Haller

Post by brookingslovechild » Wed Feb 12, 2020 5:36 pm

Personally just dont think we've seen the best of him yet, started brightly and like our season dropped off. As been said countless times , give him a partner and see what he can. 1st season , different league, needs to adjust. He's also played nearly every game and probably needs some time out of the front line.

I guess we will see if he hangs about next season in the championship, could be the making of him!
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