Dear Mister Sullyman.
I am Jorge Messi, esteemed father and agent of Lionel who I am sure you are hearing of.
As you must know, treacherous dogs Barselona have sacked him but it give my son a new chance. And Western Hammers of ILS London is his best choice. Many years back then he had poster of esteemed star of yours Marlon Harewood on his wall. And was forever looking for jellied eels on La Rambla as he wanted to be a cockerknee.
Peoples in the esteemed game tell me you are short of pesos so in order to facilitate this transfer Lionel has instructed me to give you special never repeated offer for one day only.
He will play for one thousand English pounds each week only as long as company caravan in Jaywick can be his. And no transfer fee ! Because he is free agent because of treacherous dogs.
As I no you are a man of great influence and esteem a once only fee for this transfer is all I am asking. For just ten thousand English pounds I will send him on first plane from Spain.
Please remit your once only bank transfer to...
Abucho Enterprises
National Bank of Nigeria
Lagos 14
Account number 3428657
Thanking you kindly.
Jorge Messi