Big Jesse

[JayK]

You've been going out with the same girl since you were at school together. She's the love of your life. But after years together it's not the same. You don't get your end away anymore. She tells you 'it's not you, it's me'. And she suggests a trial seperation and you're very sad.

So you meet this new bint who's fun and you're shagging non-stop. In a fit of pique you even give her a good back-scuttling in your old girl friend's back garden shouting 'Oi...darlin....open your window !'. But after a few months you realise you don't really love her. Unloading your muck is enjoyable but you really want to be with your old girlfriend.

You tell her this and in sympathy she says she'll take you back. You even get the ocassional hand-job but you know she's moved on especially after a spanking new red sports car is continually seen outside her house on the nights she says she's babysitting.

And your old 'new' girlfriend doesn't want you either as she thinks you just used her. She's got a new geezer now who she met on holiday in Croatia.


Ring any bells Jesse ?


The moral of this story is you have to take your chances when they're handed to you on a plate. And recognise the deep wisdom of the old Chinese proverb.

'He who finds friends in the East should embrace them.
For not to do so makes him a silly cunt'.

A fine piece my learned friend.
One minute you're pumping away like a baboon on heat only to realise that she's busying herself with a medium sudoku puzzle.
King dick has been there and opened her drapes and that's why she's as bandy as fuck and unable to walk in a straight line.
Take it from us Jessie, the grass isn't always greener on the other side unless of course your stark bollock naked hanging out the back of a young heffer yodelling your tonsils out in a state of wild delirium.

Decisions, decisions, young man.

[Brookbonds73]

A fine piece my learned friend.
One minute you're pumping away like a baboon on heat only to realise that she's busying herself with a medium sudoku puzzle.
King dick has been there and opened her drapes and that's why she's as bandy as fuck and unable to walk in a straight line.
Take it from us Jessie, the grass isn't always greener on the other side unless of course your stark bollock naked hanging out the back of a young heffer yodelling your tonsils out in a state of wild delirium.

Decisions, decisions, young man.

Wise words mon ami.

We've all been there.

Lady P goes out for her gin afternoon on Fridays returning naked and singing 'It's a long way to Tipperary' well after midnight which gives me time to sort out the cleaner, Jasmina. She doesn't speak English so I don't know where she's from but she's well versed in the arts of the karma sutra and my John Thomas is like a baby's arm clutching a tangerine by the time I explode in the keema box.

I'm sure once her hubby Mustafa gets on a dinghy successfully though I'll be as wanted as pork loin in the Tottenham canteen so I'm making sure I don't get attached.

Jesse should have done the same the stupid fucker.

Indeed my compadre.
Little Jessie should have joined the ranks long ago.
It's no good charging around Moss side in a Morris marina waving around a replica Glock when you can have the real thing at Stratford. I find drive bys great fun, especially on a warm day, you can pick them off at will. Just the other day as Helga had a gobful of the veiny hotdog I stealthily approached a set of lights and Managed to take out a whole family of them with a single spray of my trusted Kalashnikov.

I tell you Jessie, you don't know what your missing.

[palerider]

It seems the troll is going to sell for 10m in January and the Messiah is still a big fan.

Everton are keen but the obvious destination is the beheaders where he'd be guaranteed a start and 250k a week.

But with our new found wealth, not out of our price range but although he'd be handy, would he walk into the side now ?

[Newmarket]

It seems the troll is going to sell for 10m in January and the Messiah is still a big fan.

Everton are keen but the obvious destination is the beheaders where he'd be guaranteed a start and 250k a week.

But with our new found wealth, not out of our price range but although he'd be handy, would he walk into the side now ?

Lingard really must have had a screw loose in the summer if he thought he had any kind of future at Old Trafford .

The lies that Frodo must have told him about game time etc goes to show that footballers really aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed , so to speak , and the last minute arrival of CR7 didn’t exactly help his situation.
But did Lingard see that coming when the rest of the world did ?

He knows that Moyes wanks over the very ground he walks on and probably would have given his arsehole a damn good rimming to get him to join West Ham .

All he had to do was kick up a teeny weeny bit of a fuss and the Manx’s would probably sold him .

Now , Manure probably won’t sell him to us as they see us as a rival for the Euro spots and if they did is Moyes really that stupid to pay a vastly inflated fee for a player we COULD get for fuck all 6 months later ?

Personally my stance hasn’t changed since August …
Fuck Lingard he had his chance and didn’t make it known either publicly or privately that he wanted to join us .

I just hope Moyes feels the same .
He had his chance and he blew it , we’ve moved on .

[palerider]

It seems the troll is going to sell for 10m in January and the Messiah is still a big fan.

Everton are keen but the obvious destination is the beheaders where he'd be guaranteed a start and 250k a week.

But with our new found wealth, not out of our price range but although he'd be handy, would he walk into the side now ?

Lingard really must have had a screw loose in the summer if he thought he had any kind of future at Old Trafford .

The lies that Frodo must have told him about game time etc goes to show that footballers really aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed , so to speak , and the last minute arrival of CR7 didn’t exactly help his situation.
But did Lingard see that coming when the rest of the world did ?

He knows that Moyes wanks over the very ground he walks on and probably would have given his arsehole a damn good rimming to get him to join West Ham .

All he had to do was kick up a teeny weeny bit of a fuss and the Manx’s would probably sold him .

Now , Manure probably won’t sell him to us as they see us as a rival for the Euro spots and if they did is Moyes really that stupid to pay a vastly inflated fee for a player we COULD get for fuck all 6 months later ?

Personally my stance hasn’t changed since August …
Fuck Lingard he had his chance and didn’t make it known either publicly or privately that he wanted to join us .

I just hope Moyes feels the same .
He had his chance and he blew it , we’ve moved on .

My view too although the alternative at the time, Vlasic, looks to be as useful as tits on a clothes-horse but give him time I suppose and besides, we can afford M'Bappe in January now.

[Whiskyman]

It seems the troll is going to sell for 10m in January and the Messiah is still a big fan.

Everton are keen but the obvious destination is the beheaders where he'd be guaranteed a start and 250k a week.

But with our new found wealth, not out of our price range but although he'd be handy, would he walk into the side now ?

Lingard really must have had a screw loose in the summer if he thought he had any kind of future at Old Trafford .

The lies that Frodo must have told him about game time etc goes to show that footballers really aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed , so to speak , and the last minute arrival of CR7 didn’t exactly help his situation.
But did Lingard see that coming when the rest of the world did ?

He knows that Moyes wanks over the very ground he walks on and probably would have given his arsehole a damn good rimming to get him to join West Ham .

All he had to do was kick up a teeny weeny bit of a fuss and the Manx’s would probably sold him .

Now , Manure probably won’t sell him to us as they see us as a rival for the Euro spots and if they did is Moyes really that stupid to pay a vastly inflated fee for a player we COULD get for fuck all 6 months later ?

Personally my stance hasn’t changed since August …
Fuck Lingard he had his chance and didn’t make it known either publicly or privately that he wanted to join us .

I just hope Moyes feels the same .
He had his chance and he blew it , we’ve moved on .

It was inevitable as the window approaches stories like this would appear in the mainstream media as well as the You Tube rumour mills. Inevitable also that because of Kretinsky's investment we are about to embark on a spending spree of mammoth proportions. Lingard is an obvious name to be associated with us, as I suppose is Tarkowski because it seems we were interested in him a few months back.

I think Moyes has enough credit in the bank with his dealings in the market so far, Hugill excluded, for us to be able to trust his judgment and tbh I'm guessing that Moyes has moved on from the apparent Lingard obsession. No doubt the rumour spreading and general shit stirring will continue apace and the only prediction I will make is that the exciteable arm waving that accompanies most of the clips I've watch will increase in intensity until the window slams shut with a massive bang at the end of January.

And isn't it January when that African Nations Cup thing starts ? Perhaps Salah and Mane will contract Ebola which would blow a large hole in the scousers title ambitions.

[andyginbrasil]

If Jessie wanted to play for us he would of signed in August......he chose to fight for his place.....or did he ? I said it before the window shut, he was offered a new contract and bluntly refused it.....his existing contract ends in June and he is a free agent, and able to command a hefty signing on fee and inflated wages. Mercenary

Who's going to offer that, looks Newcastle bound to me, for us to get him, and I personally don't want him, would cost us 10-15 million in January and 100k + a week wages, if he wants to join us he could have a verbal deal with Moyes and sign in July for a lot less.

[Clayton]

Lingard really must have had a screw loose in the summer if he thought he had any kind of future at Old Trafford .

The lies that Frodo must have told him about game time etc goes to show that footballers really aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed , so to speak , and the last minute arrival of CR7 didn’t exactly help his situation.
But did Lingard see that coming when the rest of the world did ?

He knows that Moyes wanks over the very ground he walks on and probably would have given his arsehole a damn good rimming to get him to join West Ham .

All he had to do was kick up a teeny weeny bit of a fuss and the Manx’s would probably sold him .

Now , Manure probably won’t sell him to us as they see us as a rival for the Euro spots and if they did is Moyes really that stupid to pay a vastly inflated fee for a player we COULD get for fuck all 6 months later ?

Personally my stance hasn’t changed since August …
Fuck Lingard he had his chance and didn’t make it known either publicly or privately that he wanted to join us .

I just hope Moyes feels the same .
He had his chance and he blew it , we’ve moved on .

My view too although the alternative at the time, Vlasic, looks to be as useful as tits on a clothes-horse but give him time I suppose and besides, we can afford M'Bappe in January now.

We should be after the Fulham youngster Fabio Carvalho , a player Rice will see as a long term investment and with all the swagger to make it in the premier league as our number 10 .

[BillyDWhizz]

If he'd have signed for us in August, then, at the time, I'd have been reasonably happy. Now though? After a bit of thought? Nah. 29 next month and not really worth a 3 year+ contract on what you'd have to imagine would be a £100k plus a week deal.

Let him go and be the Toons "saviour."

[JayK]

With Benny potentially gone for a month I wouldn’t be against us signing him.

Yeah we could wait til July if we really want him but that risks him going somewhere else (Toon) in January.

Preferably though, I hope Vlasic comes good, and soon but we will be a bit short in the attacking department once the Afro cup starts