West Ham vs Rapid Vienna Official Match Thread

[palerider]

My first European night since I was put in a police van at the Heysel Stadium but I've matured like a fine cheese since then.

Steered clear of those wuffians on the boats and sported a neatly groomed hipster beard and skinny jeans for some trendy tank beer in Hackney. My leftie pal said I'd also need a baby on a frontal carrier to look the part so had to buy one from a passing Romanian.

Continually felt the need to piss at the ILS with the vertical ascent to the summit afterwards, although the light show was top notch. Would have been better if the dwarf was roasting over those flames though. Note to management....the customer is king.

The match was cack although Dec was sublime. Yarmo looked like a fucking park player. Vienna were so shit we should have scored 8.

Journey back to the hotel a hoot. Some silly cunt topped themselves at Wimbledon so was on about the only train out of Dodge which just happened to go to Woking. Packed in like sardines so I had to pull an old lady out of her seat.....only fair. I also had the sense of public duty to rescue a damsel in distress in tears at the taxi queue as she was marooned and with no idea how to get home to Portsmouth. And I had a double bed. Got back at 1am and rousted the barman for a much needed pint of cleaning fluid before a furious back-scuttle.

And a peck on the cheek this morning telling her she was welcome to the complimentary biscuits as I left.

Quite an adventure.


Bilic out.

[hd1]

Journey back to the hotel a hoot. Some silly cunt topped themselves at Wimbledon so was on about the only train out of Dodge which just happened to go to Woking. Packed in like sardines so I had to pull an old lady out of her seat.....only fair. I also had the sense of public duty to rescue a damsel in distress in tears at the taxi queue as she was marooned and with no idea how to get home to Portsmouth. And I had a double bed. Got back at 1am and rousted the barman for a much needed pint of cleaning fluid before a furious back-scuttle.

And a peck on the cheek this morning telling her she was welcome to the complimentary biscuits as I left.

Quite an adventure.


Bilic out.

You were lucky, by the time I got back to Waterloo there no trains heading to Portsmouth, ended up in a hotel nearby and early train back this morning. I could get back from the away game quicker!

[palerider]

Journey back to the hotel a hoot. Some silly cunt topped themselves at Wimbledon so was on about the only train out of Dodge which just happened to go to Woking. Packed in like sardines so I had to pull an old lady out of her seat.....only fair. I also had the sense of public duty to rescue a damsel in distress in tears at the taxi queue as she was marooned and with no idea how to get home to Portsmouth. And I had a double bed. Got back at 1am and rousted the barman for a much needed pint of cleaning fluid before a furious back-scuttle.

And a peck on the cheek this morning telling her she was welcome to the complimentary biscuits as I left.

Quite an adventure.


Bilic out.

You were lucky, by the time I got back to Waterloo there no trains heading to Portsmouth, ended up in a hotel nearby and early train back this morning. I could get back from the away game quicker!

Sorry to hear that.

I was certainly one of the lucky ones.

Joking aside. Nothing was on the boards apart from trains through Staines. Then a random train to Fratton came up. Stopping at Woking. Loads of us boarded it with the guard saying he'd not heard it was even going. This was platform 13.

10 minutes later he then announced there was was indeed a train going to Woking. But was from platform 14. Via Guildford. So everyone got up. 30 seconds later he said there'd been a mistake. And it was the train we were on that was going to Woking, finishing at Bournemouth. It was like the fucking hokey cokey.

Eventually it left and trundled to Woking via Richmond and Staines so I was ok. The poor fuckers still on it hoping for Bournemouth ? Fuck knows because by then it appeared to be terminating at Basingstoke.

SWR. Don't you just love them ?

Jay would have just continued through Wimbledon over the mess.

[ToneLoc]

My first European night since I was put in a police van at the Heysel Stadium but I've matured like a fine cheese since then.

Steered clear of those wuffians on the boats and sported a neatly groomed hipster beard and skinny jeans for some trendy tank beer in Hackney. My leftie pal said I'd also need a baby on a frontal carrier to look the part so had to buy one from a passing Romanian.

Continually felt the need to piss at the ILS with the vertical ascent to the summit afterwards, although the light show was top notch. Would have been better if the dwarf was roasting over those flames though. Note to management....the customer is king.

The match was cack although Dec was sublime. Yarmo looked like a fucking park player. Vienna were so shit we should have scored 8.

Journey back to the hotel a hoot. Some silly cunt topped themselves at Wimbledon so was on about the only train out of Dodge which just happened to go to Woking. Packed in like sardines so I had to pull an old lady out of her seat.....only fair. I also had the sense of public duty to rescue a damsel in distress in tears at the taxi queue as she was marooned and with no idea how to get home to Portsmouth. And I had a double bed. Got back at 1am and rousted the barman for a much needed pint of cleaning fluid before a furious back-scuttle.

And a peck on the cheek this morning telling her she was welcome to the complimentary biscuits as I left.

Quite an adventure.


Bilic out.

You forgot to mention the "incident" with the cat.
I only hope it doesn't blister up.

[palerider]

My first European night since I was put in a police van at the Heysel Stadium but I've matured like a fine cheese since then.

Steered clear of those wuffians on the boats and sported a neatly groomed hipster beard and skinny jeans for some trendy tank beer in Hackney. My leftie pal said I'd also need a baby on a frontal carrier to look the part so had to buy one from a passing Romanian.

Continually felt the need to piss at the ILS with the vertical ascent to the summit afterwards, although the light show was top notch. Would have been better if the dwarf was roasting over those flames though. Note to management....the customer is king.

The match was cack although Dec was sublime. Yarmo looked like a fucking park player. Vienna were so shit we should have scored 8.

Journey back to the hotel a hoot. Some silly cunt topped themselves at Wimbledon so was on about the only train out of Dodge which just happened to go to Woking. Packed in like sardines so I had to pull an old lady out of her seat.....only fair. I also had the sense of public duty to rescue a damsel in distress in tears at the taxi queue as she was marooned and with no idea how to get home to Portsmouth. And I had a double bed. Got back at 1am and rousted the barman for a much needed pint of cleaning fluid before a furious back-scuttle.

And a peck on the cheek this morning telling her she was welcome to the complimentary biscuits as I left.

Quite an adventure.


Bilic out.

You forgot to mention the "incident" with the cat.
I only hope it doesn't blister up.

Oh yeah, that.

Still.....Pompey girls.

The blister will be the blessing of the two.

[Whiskyman]

I didn’t see the game but by most journo accounts including Jacob Steinberg , Vienna fans were having it with Old Bill long after the West Ham fans had fucked off home

Yep you are right. I heard quite a few got arrested

It was crazy in the ground and then they wanted to fight anything that moved plus while the light show was going on they were lobbing watercoolers into the home end and when Rice scored they did indeed try and storm into the West Stand corner section.

I sorted out my flights to Vienna a while back and given it is such a nice city especially in the winter I thought it would be quite a friendly club but I think we will need to be careful out there as they were desperate to start a bit of a ruck and given some of our away support can be a bit rowdy at times I sense an issue.

Maybe I'm being unbelievably naive but, as someone who used to go to football during the 70s and 80s when such issues barely made the news because they were so commonplace, I think it's probable that the idiot fringe from both sides will exchange pleasantries but, providing one chooses a sensible place to enjoy a few steins, I doubt if Joe Average will experience any hassle. Like yourself I was in Zagreb and experienced no issues whatsoever. In fact after the match I found myself in a bar near the stadium with a decent number of their "Ultras" , as well as a handful of Hammers fans, and all they wanted to do was ask about English football teams. I'll also be going to Vienna, and Genk, and don't expect any problems.