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It's all the rage

Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2021 8:35 am
by palerider
It seems that to be serious top 4 contenders now you have to have a kraut in charge.

There's the notable exception of Pep of course who's record speaks for itself and even he learnt a lot of his trade in Ze Fatherland and has a Bosch fridge freezer. So for us to rise to the next level we have to do the same.

The Moyes love-in this weekend is well earned but the Messiah is getting no younger and a diet of deep-fried crunchie bars and McKennechans 12 year old single malt from a brown paper bag at the back of Westfield will eventually take it's toll.

So the Czech geezer has acted. And when Statler & Waldorf finally sail off into the sunset, the man to lead us to glory will be Adolf Von Krups, currently learning the ropes with German 4th Division outfit FC Lebensraum.

'Kruppi' as he's known there favours the new 'Geggengewalt' system of extreme violence when the opposition have the ball. Full frontal assault often leading to broken limbs is favoured and a bullet to the head for any official who's a tad namby-pamby about it. Lebensraum currently lead their league having won every game conceding only one goal, after which the referee was strangely found three days later in a shallow grave.

In his spare time, Kruppi loves taking his German Shepherd Blondi on long walks, giving him treats when he runs off and returns with the arm of a passing migrant, and is a member of an SS re-enactment society, a lederhosen folk troupe and owns his own sausage factory.

He's on record for expressing his desire to one day manage in the PL and is said to be extremely impressed with the lightning-speed trains that run to the ILS with German efficiency. He's single but is known to be a prolific pork swordsman and it's believed he'll be keen to keep Lady B on in some capacity as long as she does a turn.

The future is indeed bright.

Re: It's all the rage

Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2021 11:57 am
by Brookbonds73
palerider wrote: Mon Dec 06, 2021 8:35 am It seems that to be serious top 4 contenders now you have to have a kraut in charge.

There's the notable exception of Pep of course who's record speaks for itself and even he learnt a lot of his trade in Ze Fatherland and has a Bosch fridge freezer. So for us to rise to the next level we have to do the same.

The Moyes love-in this weekend is well earned but the Messiah is getting no younger and a diet of deep-fried crunchie bars and McKennechans 12 year old single malt from a brown paper bag at the back of Westfield will eventually take it's toll.

So the Czech geezer has acted. And when Statler & Waldorf finally sail off into the sunset, the man to lead us to glory will be Adolf Von Krups, currently learning the ropes with German 4th Division outfit FC Lebensraum.

'Kruppi' as he's known there favours the new 'Geggengewalt' system of extreme violence when the opposition have the ball. Full frontal assault often leading to broken limbs is favoured and a bullet to the head for any official who's a tad namby-pamby about it. Lebensraum currently lead their league having won every game conceding only one goal, after which the referee was strangely found three days later in a shallow grave.

In his spare time, Kruppi loves taking his German Shepherd Blondi on long walks, giving him treats when he runs off and returns with the arm of a passing migrant, and is a member of an SS re-enactment society, a lederhosen folk troupe and owns his own sausage factory.

He's on record for expressing his desire to one day manage in the PL and is said to be extremely impressed with the lightning-speed trains that run to the ILS with German efficiency. He's single but is known to be a prolific pork swordsman and it's believed he'll be keen to keep Lady B on in some capacity as long as she does a turn.

The future is indeed bright.

Indeed my good man.
I have a season ticket at Lebensraum and I must say it's a hoot. You can't get in unless you've consumed at least 15 pints of fence cleaner and had at least one tear up on the way to the ground, you even get breathalysed on the way in, to make sure your three sheets to the wind.
The home team always kick off from right to left as there's a dip in the pitch that's at least 30 foot. There's plenty of entertainment on hand as well, there's a brothel, a shooting range, and a particular favourite of mine the crossbow challenge, whereby you pick out an opposing fan from behind the away end and get to shoot one of them. The winner gets Kruppi's special prize usually a year's supply of Kruppi's ' Der big banger' a delightful tasting German sausage.
I hope when Marty feltman hangs up his eyeballs, Kruppi steps forward, we'll be European champions in no time.