Alex Kral

[tassiehammer]

You love it. It makes your head even bigger

My head has to be large to accommodate the super sized brain it contains.

And yet you still follow the Irons

[Whiskyman]

My head has to be large to accommodate the super sized brain it contains.

And yet you still follow the Irons

I suspect I was dropped on my head at birth.

[BlackDiamond]

And yet you still follow the Irons

I suspect I was dropped on my head at birth.

You probably endured the robust attentions of a Hattie Jaques type midwife, using the forceps to strenuously grip and extract your bonce from the birth canal during delivery.

One of those thick set hearties, that mean well ,but can bend the frontal lobes during a forcible extrication.

Followed by a tremendous whack on the arse with a meaty hand that got the lungs booted up. These Ladies did not mess about with namby-pamby niceties, as extolled in the Royal College of Nursing's 'Baby knows best' pamphlets.

No sir, these harridans of virtue ran a very tight ship...way before somebody invented the term concussion protocol...

[Brookbonds73]

I suspect I was dropped on my head at birth.

You probably endured the robust attentions of a Hattie Jaques type midwife, using the forceps to strenuously grip and extract your bonce from the birth canal during delivery.

One of those thick set hearties, that mean well ,but can bend the frontal lobes during a forcible extrication.

Followed by a tremendous whack on the arse with a meaty hand that got the lungs booted up. These Ladies did not mess about with namby-pamby niceties, as extolled in the Royal College of Nursing's 'Baby knows best' pamphlets.

No sir, these harridans of virtue ran a very tight ship...way before somebody invented the term concussion protocol...

Hattie Jacques.
I'm just popping next door to see if their pooch is ok

[jameskel]

Fuck me, I've logged into Tinder by mistake

[Brookbonds73]

Fuck me, I've logged into Tinder by mistake

Hi I'm Barbara from Huddersfield.
I'm 28, 5ft 2, curvaceous and I'm up for a laff.
I'm known as bingey Babs on account of my alcohol addiction and sometimes I use a motor scooter to get about because of my weight problem.
I love a bit of bingo and also cosy nights in with me 6 kids and 4 ferrets ( I did have 5 but the python ate him)
I love exotic food, kebab + chips being me fave and chocolate cake sends me in to a hypo.
I'm in to gardening, but the council stopped me planting me daffs in the broken bath out front because it were attracting rats (spoil sports!)
Message me lad and you'll not regret it, I tell ya.
A couple of puffs on me inhaler and I can go like the clappers!

[jameskel]

Can I bring a dog?

[Brookbonds73]

Can I bring a dog?

Only if he's house trained
I don't want him shitting on Muktars prayer mat.

[palerider]

You probably endured the robust attentions of a Hattie Jaques type midwife, using the forceps to strenuously grip and extract your bonce from the birth canal during delivery.

One of those thick set hearties, that mean well ,but can bend the frontal lobes during a forcible extrication.

Followed by a tremendous whack on the arse with a meaty hand that got the lungs booted up. These Ladies did not mess about with namby-pamby niceties, as extolled in the Royal College of Nursing's 'Baby knows best' pamphlets.

No sir, these harridans of virtue ran a very tight ship...way before somebody invented the term concussion protocol...

Hattie Jacques.
I'm just popping next door to see if their pooch is ok

I've had to take my bondage trousers to Sketchleys.

[tassiehammer]

And yet you still follow the Irons

I suspect I was dropped on my head at birth.

Or born 4 and a bit miles from the ground