The Official Random As Fuck Thread

[palerider]

It’s fucking cold this morning !

Indeed.

I had to wear a scarf as I walked into town in my mankini this morning. Yet 5 months ago we were moaning about the heat.

Ungrateful bunch of cunts the Brits.

[Brookbonds73]

It’s fucking cold this morning !

Cold my arse!
I went for a dip this morning over to Calais.
And overtook a dinghy on the way back.

[Newmarket]

It’s fucking cold this morning !

Cold my arse!
I went for a dip this morning over to Calais.
And overtook a dinghy on the way back.

-2 this morning so I guess the channel freezing over will make things a bit easier for the poor blighters

[Brookbonds73]

Cold my arse!
I went for a dip this morning over to Calais.
And overtook a dinghy on the way back.

-2 this morning so I guess the channel freezing over will make things a bit easier for the poor blighters

Any colder and they'll be Torvill and Deaning over here.
We'll never catch the cunts then.

[palerider]

The lock's frozen on the padlock to the barn I keep my Somalis in.

Lady P's out shopping so I told her to get some anti freeze spray but it's also the South Somerset WI lunch today so she'll not be back until midnight, as cunted as a Finnish reindeer-herder and singing the Horst Wessel at the top of her voice so it seems the cunts won't get fed today.

[Brookbonds73]

The lock's frozen on the padlock to the barn I keep my Somalis in.

Lady P's out shopping so I told her to get some anti freeze spray but it's also the South Somerset WI lunch today so she'll not be back until midnight, as cunted as a Finnish reindeer-herder and singing the Horst Wessel at the top of her voice so it seems the cunts won't get fed today.

Fair play to the lady.
If you can't get off your chops now and then, then it's time to call it a day.
I'm proud to say that lady BB is a raving lunatic and has grown in to the alcoholic mental case I've grown accustomed to.
Hussar!! To them both I say and god help the wokes!

[Noni]

Writing a Biblical verse in the style of the King James Bible explaining how to remove a peanut butter sandwich from a VCR.

And it came to pass that a man was troubled by a peanut butter sandwich, for it had been placed in his VCR, and he knew not how to remove it.

And he cried to the Lord, saying "Oh Lord, How can I remove this sandwich from my VCR, for it had stuck fast".

And the Lord spoke unto him, saying,"Fear not my child, for I shall guide thy hand and show thee the way. Take the knife and carefully insert it between the sandwich and the VCR, and gently pry apart. And with patience and persersation you will learn that the sandwich shall be removed, and thy VCR shall be saved ."

And the man did as the Lord commanded, and lo and behold, the sandwich was removed from VCR.

And the Lord said unto him," Verily I say unto thee seek not to put peanut butter sandwiches into thy VCR, for it is thow not a suitable place".

And the man heeded the Lord's words, and from that day forth, he kept his sandwiches in their rightful place, and was saved from trouble and woe.

Amen.

[palerider]

The thermometer in my garden says -7 this morning.

May get the deck chairs out later.

[Newmarket]

Zal Cleminson is 73

[JayK]

Zal Cleminson is 73

Never heard of him. Had to Google. Never heard of the bands either. Definitely a random as fuck post