Pure cremation.

[Brookbonds73]

Just noticed the advert on the telly and was wondering if they carry it out when the person's still alive. The reason being is the mother in law.
She's 157 next month, and the crow faced weasel will not kark it. I've tried everything. Electrocution, poison, pushing her in front of a bus, left tacks on the stairs, glass in the Horlicks, suffocation, drowning, nothing works.
Short of garotting the thing, I'm at a loss!
Which has led me to wonder what if pure cremation can help. Maybe they can waltz in unannounced, sling a bucket of unleaded over her and voila! Up she goes!!
Or maybe while she's peeling the spuds they can set her alight using the oil from the chip pan? Accidents do happen as they say.
I might even inquire if they'll allow me to make a homemade bomb and plant it in her car, they'd have to be on their toes though, just douse her out, have the garden waste bags ready, sling her in, a couple of hail Mary's, and Bob is definitely your uncle, me thinks.
I don't even mind paying over the odds, so long as the jobs done properly. I'll even pay for the petrol, unleaded of course, it burns more easily, so I've been told

Bon chance.
BB.

[BillyDWhizz]

Just put her in a room with numbers. She'll be bored to death within 5 minutes and is much more environmentally friendly.

[palerider]

Just noticed the advert on the telly and was wondering if they carry it out when the person's still alive. The reason being is the mother in law.
She's 157 next month, and the crow faced weasel will not kark it. I've tried everything. Electrocution, poison, pushing her in front of a bus, left tacks on the stairs, glass in the Horlicks, suffocation, drowning, nothing works.
Short of garotting the thing, I'm at a loss!
Which has led me to wonder what if pure cremation can help. Maybe they can waltz in unannounced, sling a bucket of unleaded over her and voila! Up she goes!!
Or maybe while she's peeling the spuds they can set her alight using the oil from the chip pan? Accidents do happen as they say.
I might even inquire if they'll allow me to make a homemade bomb and plant it in her car, they'd have to be on their toes though, just douse her out, have the garden waste bags ready, sling her in, a couple of hail Mary's, and Bob is definitely your uncle, me thinks.
I don't even mind paying over the odds, so long as the jobs done properly. I'll even pay for the petrol, unleaded of course, it burns more easily, so I've been told

Bon chance.
BB.

I've found their advert in the middle of a pandemic in poor taste to say the least, but as they say. Fred West may have actually been a good builder.

I will however refer you to the following...



Dear President Loukachenko.

My mother in law is taking Ryanair flight 1286 from Paris to Moscow at 8am tomorrow. She'll be flying over your country at about 11.

I have distinctly heard her criticise your regime on numerous occasions and at lunch last Sunday she called you a cunt.



You're welcome.

[OZHAMMER]

Just put her in a room with numbers. She'll be bored to death within 5 minutes and is much more environmentally friendly.

If boredom didn’t get her, septicaemia would.

[Brookbonds73]

Just noticed the advert on the telly and was wondering if they carry it out when the person's still alive. The reason being is the mother in law.
She's 157 next month, and the crow faced weasel will not kark it. I've tried everything. Electrocution, poison, pushing her in front of a bus, left tacks on the stairs, glass in the Horlicks, suffocation, drowning, nothing works.
Short of garotting the thing, I'm at a loss!
Which has led me to wonder what if pure cremation can help. Maybe they can waltz in unannounced, sling a bucket of unleaded over her and voila! Up she goes!!
Or maybe while she's peeling the spuds they can set her alight using the oil from the chip pan? Accidents do happen as they say.
I might even inquire if they'll allow me to make a homemade bomb and plant it in her car, they'd have to be on their toes though, just douse her out, have the garden waste bags ready, sling her in, a couple of hail Mary's, and Bob is definitely your uncle, me thinks.
I don't even mind paying over the odds, so long as the jobs done properly. I'll even pay for the petrol, unleaded of course, it burns more easily, so I've been told

Bon chance.
BB.

I've found their advert in the middle of a pandemic in poor taste to say the least, but as they say. Fred West may have actually been a good builder.

I will however refer you to the following...



Dear President Loukachenko.

My mother in law is taking Ryanair flight 1286 from Paris to Moscow at 8am tomorrow. She'll be flying over your country at about 11.

I have distinctly heard her criticise your regime on numerous occasions and at lunch last Sunday she called you a cunt.



You're welcome.

A cunning ploy my good friend.
I think I'll also say to the good man, weasel chops says that you take it in the dirt box and are really a necrophiliac Transgender.
The game is afoot, Mon Ami.

[Newmarket]

Just noticed the advert on the telly and was wondering if they carry it out when the person's still alive. The reason being is the mother in law.
She's 157 next month, and the crow faced weasel will not kark it. I've tried everything. Electrocution, poison, pushing her in front of a bus, left tacks on the stairs, glass in the Horlicks, suffocation, drowning, nothing works.
Short of garotting the thing, I'm at a loss!
Which has led me to wonder what if pure cremation can help. Maybe they can waltz in unannounced, sling a bucket of unleaded over her and voila! Up she goes!!
Or maybe while she's peeling the spuds they can set her alight using the oil from the chip pan? Accidents do happen as they say.
I might even inquire if they'll allow me to make a homemade bomb and plant it in her car, they'd have to be on their toes though, just douse her out, have the garden waste bags ready, sling her in, a couple of hail Mary's, and Bob is definitely your uncle, me thinks.
I don't even mind paying over the odds, so long as the jobs done properly. I'll even pay for the petrol, unleaded of course, it burns more easily, so I've been told

Bon chance.
BB.

I’m thinking you should try the good old Gatling gun .

Or have you already tried that ? I find the Thompson sub-machine jams a lot and the Schmeisser’s magazine isn’t big enough to do any real damage .

[palerider]

I must confess for fifteen years I'd lie in bed at night concocting all sorts of cunning plans for the demise of the witch but since she croaked from pneumonia two years ago I actually miss her.