Hammers Chat

JayK wrote: ↑Thu Jul 22, 2021 3:03 pm

Brookbonds73 wrote: ↑Thu Jul 22, 2021 1:41 pm

More fool them for getting in the way my friend.
Elderly folk should be kept on a lead and only allowed out after midnight.
I was out walking Horace the cockeyed llama earlier on and he tried mounting an old biddy in b and q's carpark. Naturally she's now safely tucked away in my cellar where we'll be having some high shenanigans later on.
Stay alert my good fellow.

Sloppy seconds after a cock eyed llama

Brookbonds73 wrote: ↑Thu Jul 22, 2021 5:29 pm

JayK wrote: ↑Thu Jul 22, 2021 3:03 pm

Sloppy seconds after a cock eyed llama

I said tried to mount. Horace is very particular where he unloads, whereas I couldn't care less. Old biddies, farm animals, didgeridoo's, fruit.
Every holes a goal my good fellow.

JayK wrote: ↑Thu Jul 22, 2021 5:50 pm

Brookbonds73 wrote: ↑Thu Jul 22, 2021 5:29 pm

I said tried to mount. Horace is very particular where he unloads, whereas I couldn't care less. Old biddies, farm animals, didgeridoo's, fruit.
Every holes a goal my good fellow.

Ah well I didn’t know how close he got to a happy ending.

The rest I believe I knew Didgeridoo’s though? Really?

jameskel wrote: ↑Thu Jul 22, 2021 8:46 am Love a good dry cider.

It makes my nose bleed tho fuck knows why, but it does

palerider wrote: ↑Fri Jul 23, 2021 1:40 pm I'm embarking on the next stage of my career, that of film director.

I'm doing another remake of the 1938 classic 'Cider with Rosie', which was about life after WW! in the Cotswolds with a young lad having to deal with the loss of a father-figure friend, the gradual decline of village life and his growing sexuality with a local girl, Rosie, with whom he'd drink, well, cider.

It's a 21st century version called 'Brasso with Svetlana'.

And tells the story of life after covid where a local village chap called Alan meets a hairy-backed shop stacker in Aldi called Svetlana and they fall in love, spending hours drinking brasso and back-scuttling in an alley behind a kebab shop.

It also tells the poignant story of the decline of rural Somerset life in which sheep shagging is beginning to be prosecuted by the namby-pamby animal rights brigade and it's becoming to be frowned upon to stone captured asylum seekers to death.

I had an email from Sullivan saying he wanted to invest but I told the little cunt to fuck off and spend it on tansfers, all £5 of it.

BlackDiamond wrote: ↑Fri Jul 23, 2021 1:56 pm

palerider wrote: ↑Fri Jul 23, 2021 1:40 pm I'm embarking on the next stage of my career, that of film director.

I'm doing another remake of the 1938 classic 'Cider with Rosie', which was about life after WW! in the Cotswolds with a young lad having to deal with the loss of a father-figure friend, the gradual decline of village life and his growing sexuality with a local girl, Rosie, with whom he'd drink, well, cider.

It's a 21st century version called 'Brasso with Svetlana'.

And tells the story of life after covid where a local village chap called Alan meets a hairy-backed shop stacker in Aldi called Svetlana and they fall in love, spending hours drinking brasso and back-scuttling in an alley behind a kebab shop.

It also tells the poignant story of the decline of rural Somerset life in which sheep shagging is beginning to be prosecuted by the namby-pamby animal rights brigade and it's becoming to be frowned upon to stone captured asylum seekers to death.

I had an email from Sullivan saying he wanted to invest but I told the little cunt to fuck off and spend it on tansfers, all £5 of it.

Selected sharing, I get it. I was in the park the other afternoon and a rather matronly woman said "Give it to me, I'm so wet..." No chance,It's my umbrella...

OZHAMMER wrote: ↑Thu Jul 22, 2021 10:19 am My ex-missus was partial to a Dickens Cider.

BillyDWhizz wrote: ↑Fri Aug 06, 2021 4:40 pm

OZHAMMER wrote: ↑Thu Jul 22, 2021 10:19 am My ex-missus was partial to a Dickens Cider.

Netscape Navigator has just rung and wants it's joke back.

Noni wrote: ↑Fri Jul 23, 2021 10:26 am

jameskel wrote: ↑Thu Jul 22, 2021 8:46 am Love a good dry cider.

It makes my nose bleed tho fuck knows why, but it does

Will you stop picking those fights at a pub.