Gonzo wrote:Hammerschat does not necessarily agree or endorse many of the jokes in this thread and they are the responsibility of the individual poster.
That being said I'm sure some individual members of the HC team do find a few of the jokes incredibly amusing.
My sincerest apologies to anyone I may have offended.
Can I just add that no rabbits were actually harmed in the joke I told.
An Amish man and his son visit Philadelphia for the first time and find themselves in a shopping mall.
The boy notices two shiny steel doors and asks his father what they're for.
'Son, I don't know' says the man. 'I've never seen the like of that before'
At that moment a fat ugly woman waddles up to the door which slides open. It closes and the Amish pair notice the light at the top go up to five at which point it stops then comes back down.
My wife wasn't happy with my mood swings, so she brought me one of those rings that changes color based on your mood.
We discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns blue.
And when I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big fucking red mark on her forehead.
West Ham in advanced talks with South African officials trying to secure a 6 year loan deal for Oscar Pistorious 's legs. Apparently we're hoping they'll fit either Andy Carroll or Enner Valencia.
I was on a first date with a girl I'd fancied for a while and the conversation turned to sex. She said, "What's the weirdest thing you've ever done with a girl?"
I said, "To be honest, I've only ever had sex once, so nothing that weird."
She said, "Once! What was her name?"
I said, "Mary something. I couldn't make out her surname."
She said, "Did you meet her in a loud club."
I said, "No. There was a lot of moss on the headstone"
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How do you know if your girlfriend is too young for you? You have to make the aeroplane noises when you put your cock in her mouth.
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I was raised as a Catholic and when I was 12 I was told by my priest that God is watching me when I masturbate. I said, is God a Paedophile too, father?
